[SOC] Time will make all the difference

[Mike Besemer (WM4B)]

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.  One night the
96-year-old draws a bath.  She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to
the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'

The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts
up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?'

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that 
forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of
you as soon as I see who's at the door.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March
day.  One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'

'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'

And the third man chimed in, 'So am I.  Let's have a beer.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!


A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.  As
she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.'
She 
walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she
said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 
'I'll take the soup.'



TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!


Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.  Over the years, they
had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.  Lately, their activities
had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.  One day, they
were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now
don't get mad at me ...  I know we've been friends for a long time, but I
just can't think of your name!  I've thought and thought, but I can't
remember
it. Please tell me what your name is...'

Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and
glared at her.  Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate
77.... 
Please be careful!'

'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car.  It's hundreds of them!'



TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see
over the dashboard.  As they were cruising along, they came to an
intersection. 
The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it.  I
could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more
minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red.  Again,
they went right through.  The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure
that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.
She was getting 
nervous.


At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on
through.  So, she turned to the other woman and Said, 'Mildred, did you know
that we just ran through three red lights in a row?  You could have killed
us both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving ?