[SOC] Politically Incorrect

[John Davies]

I had a mate who was suicidal. 
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. 
He was chuffed to bits. 

I met a 14 year old girl on the internet.
She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. 
She turned out to be an undercover detective. 
How cool is that at her age?! 

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. 
She said I had to stop w*nking. 
When I asked why she said,
"Because I'm trying to examine you!" 


I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning." 
He replied, "No, just having a crap." 

Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in. 

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. 
How could anyone stoop so low? 

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. 
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"