[SOC] Definitely On Topic

[Bob Patten]

Without further ado here are the 2010  Darwin awards.

8th Place

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of 
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to 
retrieve his car keys.

7th Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he 
ran”, accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

6th Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection 
from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when 
it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach 
used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could  not reach 
him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free 
him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

5th Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a 
bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long torch he had 
placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his 
skull as he hit the floor.

4th Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who 
said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth 
and pull the trigger.

3rd Place

After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front 
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the 
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was 
standing at the counter.. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber 
announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The 
officer and a clerk promptly returned fire and several  customers also 
drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene 
by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators  located 47 expended cartridge 
cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. 
Ballistics identified rounds

from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 
2 a.m.So (http://a.m.so/) they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the 
window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the 
window was closed

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them 
said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local  bridge in 
the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 
men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at 
the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a 
bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and 
pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay nearby. They secured one 
end around Bingham’s leg and then

tied the other (!) to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the 
cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously 
survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby 
fishermen.  Bingham’s foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS…

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his 
constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel 
of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got 
relief.  Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to 
give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast 
unloaded.

The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. 
Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the 
elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.

It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves…. ’shit 
happens’

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES 
FROM THE GENE POOL!
________________________


-- 
73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL

E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
SOC #1          ARS #799                QRP ARCI #3412       FISTS #7871
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