[SOC] (no subject)

[Robert Patten]

Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one  said, 
“Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer  replied, “Well, I 
was walking along yesterday, minding my own business,  when a beautiful woman 
rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground,  took off all her clothes and 
said, “Take what you want.” The first  engineer nodded approvingly and said, 
“Good choice: The clothes probably  wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is  
half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to  be.
Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a  particularly 
slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with  those guys? We must 
have been waiting for fifteen minutes!” The doctor  chimed in, “I don’t know, 
but I’ve never seen such inept golf!” The  priest said, “Here comes the 
green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”  He said, “Hello, George. What’s 
wrong with that group ahead of us?  They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The 
green-keeper replied, “Oh, yes.  That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost 
their sight saving our  clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them 
play for free  anytime.” The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, 
“That’s  so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.” The  
doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist  colleague and 
see if there’s anything she can do for them.” The engineer  said, “Why can’t 
they play at night?”
Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?  
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?” The  graduate with 
an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?” The  graduate with an accounting 
degree asks, “How much will it cost?” The  graduate with an arts degree asks, 
“Do you want fries with that?”
Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must  have 
designed the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical engineer.  Just look at 
all the joints.” Another said, “No, it was an electrical  engineer. The nervous 
system has many thousands of electrical  connections.” The last one said, “No, 
actually it had to have been a  civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste 
pipeline through a  recreational area?”
Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers  believe 
that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him  and 
said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent  over, 
picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up  again and said, 
“If you kiss me, I’ll turn back into a beautiful  princess and stay with you for 
one week.” The engineer took the frog out  of his pocket, smiled at it and 
returned it to the pocket. The frog  then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me 
back into a princess, I’ll  stay with you for one week and do anything you 
want.” Again, the  engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into 
his  pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a  
beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do  anything you 
want. Why won’t you kiss me?” The engineer said, “Look, I’m  an engineer. I 
don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog –  now that’s cool.”
________________________
 73,      Bob Patten, N4BP                       Plantation, FL
E-Mail : n4bp at arrl.net 
Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
SOC #1                ARS #799            QRP     ARCI #3412
FISTS #7871          FP #1491              SMIRK #6625