[SOC] For those who enjoy word play.

[Bill Cunningham K4KSR]

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions  
to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply  
alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly  
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are  
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by  
proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with  
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,  
when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

73/72, Bill Cunningham K4KSR
k4ksr_ at verizon.net