[SOC] And then the fight started...

[Bob Nielsen]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her  
someplace expensive...so I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we  
were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"  
"No", she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She  
didn't even look at me this time, simply said, "YES!" So I then said,  
"OK, I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for  
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my  
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pocket and realized  
I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry,  
but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said,  
"Unbutton your shirt". So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver  
hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for  
me." And she processed my application. When I got home I excitedly  
told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She  
said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten  
Disability, too!"
And then the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter for some reason took my  
order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He  
said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" I said "Nah, she can  
order for herself."
And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and  
I was staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone  
at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes", I sighed,  
"She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right  
after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been  
sober since." "My God!" exclaimed my wife, "Who would think a person  
could go on celebrating that long."
And then the fight started...

A woman was standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't  
happy with what she saw and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I  
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."  
The husband replies, "Your eyesight is damn near perfect!"
And then the fight started...