[SOC] Fw: Better Living Through Chemistry...For The Ladies

[Bob Krueger]

Sent by Bob WB9UKQ

: Better Living Through Chemistry...For The Ladies


> DAMNITOL
> Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
>
> EMPTYNESTROGEN
> Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
> how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
> out.
>
> MOMMA'S WORT
> Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
> unconscious for up to two days.
>
> PEPTOBIMBO
> Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
> evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
> conception.
>
> DUMBEROL
> When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
> enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
>
> FLIPITOR
> Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the 
> urge
> to flip off other drivers.
>
> MENICILLIN
> Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal
> lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
>
> BUYAGRA
> Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration,
> and credit limit of spending spree.
>
> JACKASSPIRIN
> Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
> anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
>
> ANTI-TALKSIDENT
> A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to 
> share
> their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
>
> NAGAMENT
> When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation
> level as nagging him.
>
>
>