[SOC] RE: SOC Trash page: http://www.qsl.net/soc/trash.htm#top

[Colin WHITMORE]

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could 
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen 
nuggets.  "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the 
counter.  "You don't?" I replied.  "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was 
the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"  
"That's right."  So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO  I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the 
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of 
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between 
our things so they wouldn't get mixed.  After the girl had scanned all of my 
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so 
she could scan it.  Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know 
how much this is?"   I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll 
buy that today."   She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. 
She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE  A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive 
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, 
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit 
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you 
need some help?" I asked.  She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the 
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you 
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to 
fit this?"  "Hmmm, I dunno.  Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.  "No, just 
this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.  As I 
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive 
over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she 
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing 
paper. What do I do?"  "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told 
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put 
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed 
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the 
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."  I asked the 
manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise 
control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office 
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems 
with their computers.. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the 
branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of 
my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal 
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. 
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the 
copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. 
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to 
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.  The dispatcher 
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine.  The mother 
says, "I just gave him some ant killer....."  Dispatcher: "Rush him in to 
emergency!"


Life is tough.  " It's tougher if you're stupid."

Cheers,
AC0S