[SOC] Fw: Addendum to Murphy's Law

[Bob Krueger]

Humbly offered by:  WB9UKQ, bob

 

 


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Addendum to Murphy's Law

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some  just don't have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A  day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. Change is inevitable,  except from a vending machine.

5. Back up my hard drive?  How do I  put it in reverse?

6. I just got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar  territory.

7. When the chips are all down, the buffalo is  empty.

8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

9.  Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

10. I feel like  I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

11. He's not dead, he's  electroencephalographically challenged.

12. She's always late.  Her  ancestors arrived on the June flower.

13. You have the right to remain  silent...Anything you say will be 
misquoted
then used against  you.

14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without  sponges.

15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

16. Pardon my  driving, I am reloading.

17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed  how it remains so 
popular?

18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently  talented fool.

19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its  burial costs and
blamed it on the high cost of living.

20. Just  remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

21. The  50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right,  there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

22. It is said that if you  line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough  to try and pass them.

23. You can't have everything.  Where would  you put it?

24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of  the world's
population.

25. If the shoe fits, get another one just  like it.

26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things  left by
those who got there first.

27. Give a man a fish and he will  eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat drinking beer  forever.

28. Flashlight:  A case for holding dead  batteries.

29. Shin:  A device for finding furniture.

30. A  fine is a tax for doing wrong.  A tax is a fine for doing well.

31.  It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

32.  Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

33. I wished  the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

34. I started out with  nothing, and I still have most of it.

35. When you go into court, you are  putting yourself in the hands of 12
people that weren't smart enough to get  out of jury duty.

36. Light travels faster than sound...  This is  why some people appear
bright until you hear them  speak.