[SOC] FW: Quotes from Remarkable Jews

[Reicher, James]

Quotes from Remarkable Jews

 My father never lived to see his dream come true of an
all-Yiddish-speaking Canada - David Steinberg

 I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . .they have no
holidays. - Henny Youngman

Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable.  So,
for every ten Jews beating their Breasts, God designated one to be crazy
and amuse the breast beaters. By the time I was five knew I was that
one. - Mel Brooks

The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will
not bar a man from the White House, unless, of
course, the man is Jewish.  - Jules Farber

Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish. If you
live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are
Jewish. - Lenny Bruce

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served
us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has
never been found. - Calvin Trillin 

Even a secret agent can't lie to a Jewish mother. - Peter Malkin

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. -
Benjamin Disraeali
 
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and
then don't say it. - Sam Levenson

God will pardon me. It's His business. - Heinrich Heine
 
 

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen
days I had lost exactly two weeks. - Joe E. Lewis

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your
pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors. - Sam Goldwyn

A spoken contract isn't worth the paper it's writtenon. - Sam Goldwyn

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
immortality through not dying. - Woody Allen

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to
it. - Oscar Levant

Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy
driving taxis and cutting hair. - George Burns

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions.
Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. - Mort Sahl

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton
Berle
 

I don't want any yes-men around me.I want everybody to tell me the
truth, even if it costs them their jobs. - Sam Goldwyn

Television is a medium because it is neither rare nor well done. - Ernie
Kovacs

When I bore people at a party, they think it is their fault. - Henry
Kissinger