[SOC] People worthy of SOC

[Jim Crooke]

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE?

   ONE
   Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
   have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
   nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
   counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve,"
   was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order
   six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

   TWO
   The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a
   couple of  months ago. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just
   a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
   I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register
   and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the
   girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it
   all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code
   she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've
   changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK" and I
   paid her for the things and left. She had no clue as to what had just
   happened.

   THREE
   A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
   pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
   she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
   credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

   FOUR
   I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
   need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
   the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
   Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
   battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I
   asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the
   car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
   replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries.
   It's a long walk."

   FIVE
   Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
   was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
   paper. "What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
   told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
   paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
   copies.

   SIX
   I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
   towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
   repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister." I
   asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
   set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

   SEVEN
   My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of
   a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
   with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
   branch banks who had this question: I've got smoke coming from the
   back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

   EIGHT
   Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
   metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
   machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
   pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
   telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
   confessed.

   "Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid

73 es oo's de Jim KJ0C
Healer of Brachycephalics and other fine looking creatures in Springfield, MO
Semi-official veterinarian of the Flying Pig QRP International Club
FP # -108, SOC #37, PITA #2
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