[SOC] Definitions

[Bob Nielsen]

> The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the year 2003 winning entries:
> 
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> 1.  Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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> 2.  Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
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> 3.  Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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> 4.  Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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> 5.  Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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> 6.  Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.
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> 7.  Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
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> 8.  Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
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> 9.  Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
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> 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
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> 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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> 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
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> 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
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> 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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> 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
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> 16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.