[SOC] Fw: Who's on First?

[Bill Cunningham]

> ABBOT: Super Duper Computer Store. May I help you?
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
>  > about buying a computer.
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Mac?
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Your computer.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Mac?
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
>  >
>  > ABBOT: What about Windows?
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Wallpaper.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Software for Windows?
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
>  > proposals
>  > track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Office.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: I just did.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: You just did what?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Recommend something.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: You recommended something?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Yes.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: For my office?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Yes.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Office.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
>  >
>  > ABBOT: I recommend Office with Windows.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows!  OK, let's just
> say,
>  > I'm sitting
>  > at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Word.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: What word?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Word in Office.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
>  >
>  > ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some
>  > straight answers.
>  > OK, forget that.  Can I watch movies on the Internet?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Yes, you want Real One.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
> your
>  > business.
>  > Just tell me what I need!
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Real One.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reels two, three and
>  > four.
>  > Can I watch them?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Of course.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Great, with what?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Real One.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
> do?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: You click the blue "1".
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: The blue "1".
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: The blue "1: is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: What word?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for windows!
>  >
>  > ABBOT: No, just one. But it is the most popular word in the world.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: It is?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left.  It
> pretty
>  > much
>  > wiped out all the other words out there.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real one isn't even part
of
>  > Office.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again! What about financial
> bookkeeping,
>  > you have
>  > anything I can track my money with?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Money.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Money.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Money
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: One copy.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
>  >
>  > COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
>  >
>  > ABBOT: Why not, they own it.
>  >
>  >
>