[SOC] HOME REMEDIES

[Mike Besemer (KG8L)]

HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic, simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and, presto! the blockage will be almost
removed.

2 Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply
peeing in the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
  yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid of coughing.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget
about the toothache.

Sometimes we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

  You need only two tools: WD-40 and DUCT TAPE. If it doesn't move and it
should, use WD-40. If it moves and IT shouldn't, use DUCT TAPE.

  Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

  Never pass up an opportunity to potty.

  If you woke up breathing, Congratulations!! You have another chance!!

  AND FINALLY: Be really good to your family and friends! You never know
when you are going to need
  them to empty your bedpan!!

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