[SOC] What to do when you get drunk

[Bob Nielsen]

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open
his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a
glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in
front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and
sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of
the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, "Honey,
breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So
he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.


Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you
came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture,
puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled
into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order
and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"


His son replies, "Oh that!  Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm
married!"


a self-induced hangover - $100.00 

broken furniture - $200.00 

breakfast - $10.00 

saying the right thing - priceless