[SOC] Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinker

[Reicher, James]

Had this one in my archives!

73 de N8AU, Jim in Raymore, MO


 THE BEER PRAYER
 
     Our lager,
     Which art in barrels,
     Hallowed be thy drink,
     Thy will be drunk,
     (I will be drunk),
     At home as in the tavern.
     Give us this day our foamy head,
     And forgive us our spillages,
     As we forgive those who spill against us,
     and lead us not to incarceration,
     But deliver us from hangovers,
     For thine is the beer,
     The bitter and the lager,
     Forever and ever,
     Barmen.

-----Original Message-----
From: JMcAulay [mailto:john@mcaulay.net] 
Sent: Monday, September 29, 2003 8:43 PM
To: soc@mailman.qth.net
Subject: [SOC] Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinker



"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed.  Then
I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish
and worry about my liver." 
~ Jack Handy 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " 
~Frank Sinatra 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?  I think not." 
~ Stephen Wright 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." 
~ Benjamin Franklin 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza." 
~ Dave Barry 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER:  HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C. 
~ Reputed sign on wall in Pompeii brothel ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Remember I before E, except in "Budweiser."  
- Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
"To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.  Salvation in a can!" 
- Anonymous
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

And The Buffalo Theory, as explained by television's Cliff Clavin of Cheers
to his buddy, Norm:   
 
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest
and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection
is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the
whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain
cells.  But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells,
making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always
feel smarter after a few beers."  

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