[SOC] Words to liven discussions with XYL

[Bill Cunningham]

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Q. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A. It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.

Q. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
 A. When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
A. The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust!"

Why do men die before their wives?  They want to.

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds: "Wife Wanted." The
next day he received a hundred letters.  They all said the same thing: "You
can
have mine."