[SOC] ENGLISH AROUND THE WORLD

[Lloyd Lachow]

ENGLISH AROUND THE WORLD 
Here are some signs and notices written in English
that were 
discovered throughout the world. Some I'm familiar
with, some 
are new.

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.  If you are
not a person 
to do such thing is please not to read notice.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If
the cabin should 
enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor.  
Driving is then going alphabetically by national
order.

In a Paris hotel:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 
9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job
of the 
chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian
Orthodox 
monastery:  
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous
Russian and Soviet 
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily
except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of
repose in the boots 
of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with
cheesy dumplings 
in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef
rashers beaten 
up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.


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