[SOC] important news

[Lloyd Lachow]

SADDAM: FOR $30 BILLION, I WILL ATTACK MYSELF

Bush Calls Upon 'Coalition of the Willing to be 
Bought'

In a stunning development, Iraqi President Saddam 
Hussein today offered
to attack himself in exchange for $30 billion from the

U.S. government.

The surprising offer came in a day when President 
George W. Bush
exhorted America's allies to join what he called "a 
coalition of the
willing to
be bought."

Speaking to a group called the Veterans of Foreign 
Investments, the
President said, "It is time for each of our allies to 
look deep within
and ask this question: Who wants to be a billionaire?"

The President reminded the allies that since the 
Turkish legislature had

turned down the U.S.'s request to base troops there 
for an Iraq attack,
"Turkey's $30 billion in prize money remains 
unclaimed."

Moments after the President's speech, French President

Jacques Chirac made
a surprise announcement of his own, saying that France

would be willing to
attack Turkey for $30 billion.

"France has no argument with the people of Turkey," 
Mr. Chirac said.
"But $30 billion is a lot of cake."

But Mr. Chirac was soon upstaged by Iraqi strongman 
Saddam Hussein,
appearing on Iraqi national television to say,  "For 
$30 billion, I will
attack myself, and I will prevail."

While some in NATO expressed optimism that Saddam's 
proposal could avert
a war with Iraq, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer 
was openly dismissive
of Saddam's offer to attack himself, calling it "a 
charade."

"He's telling the world that he'll attack himself and 
he'll prevail, but
once he gets our money, he'll attack himself and 
lose," Mr. Fleischer
said.  "It's just more of his double-talk."


www.Borowitzreport.com
Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend.




__________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more
http://taxes.yahoo.com/