[SOC] Canadian Apology

[Lloyd Lachow]

Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes
CBC Television:


 On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer
an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting
along very well
 recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
 I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a
moron but, it wasn't nice
of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the
fact that he's a moron
shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America.
After all it's not like
you actually elected him.
 I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we
have more trees than
you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber
that's cheaper and better
than your own.
 I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our
defence, I guess our
excuse
would be that our team was much, much, much, much
better than yours.
 I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the
war of 1812. I notice
you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.
 I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to
do with your beer but,
we Feel your Pain.
 I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when
you're going up against
a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your
side.
I realize it took more than two years before you guys
pitched in against
Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had
weapons.
 And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry
that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way
which is really a thinly
veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not
upset over this. We've
seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

 Thank you



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