[SOC] Fwd: Term Paper

[Lloyd Lachow]

> Old but good......
> 
> An English professor at Illinois asked her students
> to experiment with a new
> form of writing called the 'tandem' story. The
> process is simple; each person
> will pair off with the person sitting to his or her
> immediate right.
> 
> One person will write the first paragraph of a short
> story. The partner will
> read the first paragraph and then add another
> paragraph to the story. The
> first person will then add a third paragraph, and so
> on. The pair MUST adhere
> to the following rules:
> 
> 1. Remember to reread what has been written each
> time in order to keep the
> story coherent.
> 
> 2. There is to be absolutely NO talking.
> 
> 3. Anything you wish to say must be written on the
> paper.
> 
> 4. The story is over when both agree a conclusion
> has been reached.
> 
> The following was actually turned in by two English
> students: Rebecca and
> Gary (last names deleted).
> 
> THE STORY
> 
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
> 
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
> she wanted. The chamomile,
> which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at
> home, now reminded
> her too
> much of Carl, who once said in happier times, that
> he liked chamomile. But
> she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
> off Carl. His
> possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
> about him too much her
> asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
> of the question.
> 
> (second paragraph by Gary)
> 
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
> the attack squadron
> now in
> orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
> think about than the
> neuroses of an air-headed, asthmatic bimbo named
> Laurie with whom he had
> spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris
> to Geostation 17" he
> said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
> orbit established. No sign
> of resistance so far..." But before he could sign
> off, a bluish particle beam
> flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
> his ship's cargo bay. The
> jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
> seat and across the
> cockpit.
> 
> Rebecca)
> 
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
> not before he felt one
> last pang of regret for psychologically brutalizing
> the one woman who had
> ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
> stopped its pointless
> hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon
> 4. "Congress Passes Law
> Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
> read in her newspaper
> one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and
> bored her. She stared
> out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days
> had passed unhurriedly
> and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
> television to distract her from
> her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
> things round her. "Why must
> one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
> pondered wistfully.
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10
> seconds to live. Thousands of
> miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
> launched the first of its
> lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
> peaceniks who pushed the
> Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the
> congress had left
> Earth a
> defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who
> were determined to
> destroy the human race. Within two hours after the
> passage of the treaty the
> Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
> enough firepower to
> pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop
> them, they swiftly initiated
> their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile
> entered the
> atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> top-secret Mobile submarine
> headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of
> Guam, felt the inconceivably
> massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
> Laurie and 85 million other
> Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
> conference table. "We can't
> allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's
> blow 'em out of the sky!"
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
> literature. My writing
> partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate
> adolescent.
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing
> are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I
> have chamomile tea? Or
> shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh
> no, I'm such an air headed
> bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> Asshole.
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Bitch.
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Go drink some tea -- whore.
> 
> (PROFESSOR)
> 
> A+ - I really liked this one.


=====
73 es oo, Lloyd, K3ESE 
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