[SOC] Fwd: understanding engineers

[Lloyd Lachow]

> Subject: Understanding Engineers
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take One
> > > Two engineering students were walking across
> campus when one said,
> > > "Where did you get such a great bike?" The
> second
> > > engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
> yesterday minding my
> own
> > > business when a beautiful woman rode up on this
> bike. She
> > > threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
> clothes and said,
> "Take
> > > what you want." "The second engineer nodded
> approvingly,
> > > 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have
> fit."
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take Two
> > > To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
> pessimist, the glass
> is
> > > half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice
> as big as it needs
> to
> > > be.
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take Three A pastor, a
> doctor and an
> engineer
> > > were waiting one morning for a particularly slow
> group of
> > > golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
> guys? We must have
> been
> > > waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in,
> "I don't
> > > know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The
> pastor said, "Hey,
> here
> > > comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
> him." "Hi
> > > George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
> They're rather
> slow,
> > > aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh,
> yes, that's a
> > > group of blind firefighters. They lost their
> sight saving our
> clubhouse
> > > from a fire last year, so we always let them
> play for free
> > > anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The
> pastor said,
> "That's so
> > > sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
> them tonight." The
> > > doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to
> contact my ophthalmologist
> 
> > > buddy and see if there's anything he can do for
> them." The
> > > engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at
> night?"
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take Four What is the
> difference between
> > > Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
> Mechanical
> > > Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers
> build targets.
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take Five
> > > The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why
> does it work?" The
> > > graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How
> does it work?"
> > > The graduate with an Accounting degree asks,
> "How much will it
> cost?"
> > > The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you
> want fries
> > > with that?"
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take Six
> > > Three engineering students were gathered
> together discussing the
> > > possible designers of the human body. One said,
> "It was a
> > > mechanical engineer." Just look at all the
> joints." Another said,
> "No,
> > > it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
> system has many
> > > thousands of electrical connections. " The last
> one said, "Actually
> it
> > > was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
> waste pipeline
> > > through a recreational area?"
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
> > > "Normal people ... believe that if it ain't
> broke, don't fix it.
> > > Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it
> doesn't have enough
> > > features yet."
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
> > > An architect, an artist and an engineer were
> discussing whether it
> was
> > > better to spend time with the wife or a
> mistress. The architect
> > > said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a
> solid foundation for
> an
> > > enduring relationship. The artist said he
> enjoyed time with his
> > > mistress, because the passion and mystery he
> found there. The
> engineer
> > > said, "I like both." Both?" "Yeah. If you have a
> wife and a
> > > mistress, they will each assume you are spending
> time with the other
> 
> > > woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
> work done."
> > >
> > > Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
> > > An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a
> frog called out to
> him
> > > and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
> beautiful princess." He
> > > bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
> pocket. The frog
> spoke
> > > up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
> back into a
> > > beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
> week." The engineer
> 
> > > took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it
> and returned it to the
> 
> > > pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me
> and turn me back
> into
> > > a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING
> you want."
> > > Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at
> it and put it back
> into
> > > his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is
> the matter? I've told
> > > you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay
> with you for a week
> and
> > > do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
> The engineer
> > > said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time
> for a girlfriend,
> but a
> > > talking frog, now that's cool."
> 

oo


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