[SOC] Belgians Lead Push for Regime Change in America

[Lloyd Lachow]

Belgians Lead Push for Regime Change in America
September 24, 2002
By Phil Lebovits


Spurred by reports of an aggressive military build-up 
and failure to
reign in corporate terrorists, the
government of Belgium is pressing for a preemptive 
strike against the
regime of George W. Bush.

"We cannot sit idly by and eat our delicious 
chocolates while the United
States government engages in a policy of
harassment," Belgian Prime Minister Guy Verhofstadt 
said in a
nationally-televised address to the Belgian people.
"Now is the time for action. We cannot waffle."

Recent reports from Belgian intelligence sources 
indicate that the
United States is now in possession of weapons
of mass destruction - chemical, biological and 
nuclear. "We know that
the United States has nuclear weapons and
that they have actually used them in the past," 
intoned the Prime
Minister." There is no reason to think they
will not use them in the future."

Verhofstadt is insisting that United Nations weapon 
inspectors be given
"unfettered access to the massive
stockpiles" of weapons, and that they be destroyed 
immediately.

"We stand at the crossroads," pleaded Verhofstadt. 
"Either the United
States agrees to our demands, or we will be
forced to put down our delicious chocolates and lead 
the way for
permanent regime change. Remember, my dear
Walloons, the current clique in Washington was elected

in direct
contravention of the will of the American
people. Regime change will be welcomed by their 
citizens."

Reaction to the speech throughout Europe was swift. 
"We stand with our
Belgian brothers," offered French
President Jacques Chirac. "France is willing to commit

thirty-five
troops and many cases of fine champagne to the
cause. We cannot stand on the sidelines enjoying our 
delicious baguettes
while our comrades from Antwerp go it
alone. Let me assure the dear Prime Minister. France 
is with you,
almost."

Russian President Vladimir Putin did not mince any 
words. "Again, it is
the powerful Belgians who must lead the
world against aggression and American hegemony. Russia

stands with her
European allies and insists that the
United States disarm unilaterally. I only wish we too 
had delicious
foods."

Following the speech, the mood at the White House was 
one of defiance.
"Let the Belgians make their empty
threats," said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer. 
"We are urging
Hershey's and Mars and other fine American
chocolate makers to increase their yummy output by 
two-hundred percent
in the coming weeks. We intend to break up
the evil-doing Belgian chocolate cartel once and for 
all."

Vice President Dick Cheney was even more bellicose. 
Speaking directly
underneath Karl Rove from an undisclosed
underground bunker, the Vice President warned of dire 
consequences
should Belgium make a preemptive strike. "We
are prepared to strike back with alarming force," said

Cheney.

"The Belgians cannot bully us. They may be the world's

only superpower,
but we here in America have Allah on our
side. To hell with their delicious chocolate treats."

Verhofstadt, while unyielding in tone and substance, 
did offer the
Americans a plausible way out. "I call upon
George W. Bush to capture Sheik Kenneth Lay, Imam 
Dennis Kozlowski, and
the entire Worldcom terrorist
organization, and to hand them over to an 
international tribunal. The
United States can no longer harbor agents
of terrorism. You are either with us or against us."

Back in Washington, the Joint Chiefs of Staff and 
National Security
Advisor Condaleeza Rice were trying eagerly
to persuade President Bush that there was indeed a 
country named
Belgium.

  � 2001 - 2002 Democratic Underground, LLC



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