[SOC] Fw: Think you're having a bad day?

[Rob Matherly]

These are GREAT!  I mention my favorites in parenthesis :^)

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Absolutely True Stories:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest,
while assessing the damage done by a forest fire.  The deceased male was dressed in a
full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and facemask. A
post-mortem revealed that the man died
not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a
positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully-clad
diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the
fire, the man went diving off the
coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire
as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip
buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the
next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some
days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

Still think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen.
While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man,
still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass
patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband (cut
and bleeding), the motorcycle, and the
shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a
fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and
escort them to her husband. While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife
managed to right the
motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with
some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered
patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and
consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he
flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud
explosion and her husband screaming.
Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his
buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic
crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the
ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They
started laughing so hard, one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping the husband
out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...

(this one is the second best!)

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska
was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were
being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute
later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, with some
kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt
him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood,
breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment, he had been happily listening to
his Walkman CD Player.

STILL think you're having a bad day?

(This one is tied for second with the previously mentioned anti-animal whacko one)

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a
slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand broke loose and escaped
through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to
death.

What! STILL having a bad day??

(THE BEST!  God Bless America, land that I looooooove)

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.  It came
back with "return to sender" stamped on it.  Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it
and was blown to tiny bits.

There, Feeling better? heehee!
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72/73/oo
Rob, W�JRM
ARRL; FP QRP -330; IA QRP #143; SOC #497; QRPp-I #19; Live-Wire #442;

Visit my website! http://www.qsl.net/w0jrm

"Those who control their tongue will have a long life;
     a quick retort can ruin everything"   -- Proverbs 13:3 NLT