[SOC] Ins and Outs

[Paul Bartlett]

>> Paul posed:

>>
>>There are ten ways of getting yourself out in cricket. What are they?
>>
>> Any of these?

> 1. Ask for ketchup on your cucumber sandwich at tea time.

De rigeur Sir, de rigeur.

> 2. Forget to install your box and have it brought onto the pitch for
public
> display.

A normal unsettling tactic. Feet should be shuffled until said implement
is in place.

> 3. Lose grip on bat and bat goes over boundary.

Easy mistake to make. Done it myself. The trick is to look confident and
try to make it seem intentional.

> 4. Shine torch on umpire's light meter when he is determining if play can
> continue.

Only if you're on the fielding side and losing.

> 5. Ask to go to the WC in middle of an over.

Asking Mr Grace for advice is a bit pointless; he pegged
it half a century ago or so.

> 6. Appear dressed for Aussie Rules Football.

There are *NO* rules for 'Aussie Rules Football'.

> 7. Have "Wild Thing" played when walking onto pitch.

Conceded.

> 8. Make ashes of yourselves.

The only reason not to give Oz the 'Ashes' after having been
well and truly 'stuffed' on numerous occasions is that we can't
actually find them. Sad but true.

> 9. Use an aluminium bat.

It worked for 'Beefie' (Ian Botham). Who am I to argue?

> 10. Steal the catcher's signs.

Would that be a fielder or the wicket keeper?

Paul :-))