[SOC] The Bristish are sooo ... British !

[soc@mailman.qth.net]

Hi Chris and all Friends,

Just received this one. The whole thing is funny and the latest mesg shows how 
British are my Cousins over the Channel :o))

<<
The letters which follow are real ones. They emanate from an incident between a 
hotel of London and one of its customers. The direction of the hotel finaly 
gave the correspondence to the London Sunday Times so that they can be
published.

Dear chambermaid, 
Please do not deposit anymore small cakes of soap in my bathroom, because I 
brought my own Palmolive "family pack". Could you remove the six cakes of soap 
which are on the rack
and the three which is in the soap-dish? They take place for nothing. Thank you
S. Berman. 

Dear room 635, 
I am not your usual chambermaid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, after her 
day off.
I removed the three cakes of soap of the soap-dish, as you asked. I removed the 
six cakes of soap of the rack so that they do not annoy you anymore, and I put 
them on the Kleenex distributor, should you change your mind. There remain only 
the three cakes of soap which I brought today, for it is my instructions to 
deposit three cakes of soap per day. I hope that that will convenient for you. 
Kathy, chambermaid of changing. 

Dear chambermaid, 
I hope that you are my usual chambermaid. Apparently Kathy did not say nothing 
to you about the message concerning the cakes of soap. While returning 
yesterday evening I saw that you had left three small Camay on my rack. I will 
stay in the hotel during two weeks and I brought my family Palmolive, so I not 
need the six small Camay which are on the rack. 
These cakes of soap encumber me when I shave or brush my teeth. Could you 
remove them ?
S. Berman. 

Dear Mr Berman, 
My day off was Wednesday, therefore the other chambermaid brought the three 
cakes of soap which the direction orders to us. I put the six cakes of soap 
which encumbered you in the soap-dish where your Palmolive was. I put your 
Palmolive in the medecine-chest. I did not remove the three cakes of soap which 
we put in the medecine-chest on each new arrival, and for which you did not say 
anything when you arrived last Monday. I remain at your disposal.
Your usual chambermaid, Dotty. 

Dear Mr Berman, 
The hotel manager, Mr Kensedder, said to me this morning that you had called 
him yesterday evening to complain about the service of your chambermaid. I hope 
you will accept our apologizes, and I want you to know that I placed a new 
chambermaid at your service. If you have other complaints in the future, feel  
free to contact me and I will personaly take care of the case. Call #1108 
between 8h00 and 17h00. Merci. 
Elaine Carmen, controlling. 

Dear Mrs Carmen, 
It is impossible for me to phone you, because I leave the hotel around 7h45 to 
go to work and do not come back before 17h30 or 18h00. For this reason I called 
Mr. Kensedder yesterday evening. All that I asked him, was if he could do 
something in connection with these cakes of soap. The new chambermaid has to 
think that I had just arrived, because she deposited three new soap in my 
medecine-chest, in addition to her usual delivery of three cakes of soap on the 
rack. In five days, I accumulated 24 cakes of soap. Why do you make me undergo 
that ? 
S. Berman. 

Dear Mr Berman, 
Your chambermaid, Kathy, received the command more not to deposit cakes of soap
 in your room and to remove those which are of too. I remain at your disposal 
(item 1108 between  8h00 and 17h00) Merci. 
Elaine Carmen, Governess

Dear Mr Kensedder, 
My family Palmolive has disappeared. All the cakes of soap were removed, 
including my own soap. I came back late yesterday evening and have to call the 
groom so that he brings me four small Dove. 
S. Berman. 

Dear Mr Berman, 
I have been informed by our Governess, Elaine Carmen, about your soap problem. 
I do not understand why there was no more soap in your room whereas the 
chambermaids have the instructions to bring three cakes of soap each time that 
they make a room. Your problem should be immediately solved. Please accept my 
apologizes. 
Martin L Kensedder, hotel manager. 

Dear Mrs Carmen, 
Who deposited 54 f*** of cakes of soap in my room? I found 54 cakes of soap 
while returning yesterday evening. I do not want 54 Camay, I want my Palmolive. 
Do you realize that I have 54 cakes of soap here? All that I want it is my own 
soap. Give me back my soap. 
S. Berman 

Dear Mr Berman, 
You complained about too much soap so I removed them. Then you complained to 
Mr. Kensedder because all your soap had disappeared, then I brought everything 
back in your room. 24 Camay which had been taken and three that you are 
supposed to receive daily. Your chambermaid,Kathy, did not know that I did it 
and brought back herself 24 Camay plus the three daily ones. I do not know from 
where you think that the hotel provides Palmolive family pack. I succeeded in 
finding Monsavon family pack which I have leave in your room. 
Elaine Carmen, Governess. 

Dear Mrs Carmen, 
Just a small message to provide you with the latest inventory of my soap stock. 
As of today, I have 
- On the rack of the medecine-chest: 18 Camay in four stacks of 4 and one stack 
of 2. 
- On the handkerchiefs distributor : 11 Camay in two stacks of 4 and one stack 
of 3. 
- In the room, near the bed : a stack of 3 Dove, a stack of 4 Monsavon, and 8 
Camay in two stacks of 4.
- In the medecine-chest: 14 Camay in three stacks of 4 and one stack of 2. 
- In the soap-dish: 6 Camay, very soft. 
- On the north-eastern corner of the washbasin: 1 Dove half used. 
- On the north-western corner of the washbasin: 6 Camay in two stacks of 3. 

Can you ask Kathy to make sure that the stacks are well-formed and well 
dusted ? Also let her know that stacks of more than 4 tend to collapse. Can I 
suggest that the edge of my window is still not used and would form an 
excellent palce for the deliveries to come ? 
Last but not least :  I bought another Palmolive family pack, which I keep in 
the safebox of the hotel in order to avoid any misunderstanding. 
S. Berman.

>>

73/72!
Claude, F5PBL



http://www.qsl.net/f5pbl
http://www.qsl.net/soc

DIG #4451 - FISTS #7722 - SOC #503 - 10-X #71724