[SOC] Iowans ripping on MO (was: Runway 39 Redux)

[Rob Mathery]

> I'm sure. The ones I am aware of, however, are Iowa/Minnesota jokes, and
> they are hilarious. Why we don't do this with Wisconsin, Illinois, and
> Missouri, I don't know.

Come down here to the bottom teir of counties!  The most prevelent one is
about how bad their drivers are (they all come up here to our Wal-Mart
because the county below us doesn't have one), and about how ABSOLUTELLY
HORRIBLE the roads down there are!  I go down there every July to get
fireworks (shhhh), and about kill myself on those highways!  And for our
fellow soc'ers in the Show-Me state: What is the deal with those little
reflectors embedded in the middle of the road?  Is it really that good of an
idea to embed hunks of glass in the highway? :^)

Of course, there's the standard "hillbilly with one strap on his bib
overalls fastened" cracks that loosely follow the plot of deliverance ;^)

"I just went down there to get fireworks... and I got molested by a
hillbilly with one strap on his bib overalls fastened!" :^D

They do have a few good things going for them though - their beer isn't
watered down like it is here in Iowa (about 1% alchohol content here, 4 or 5
down there), their cigarettes aren't taxed up the wazzo down there (still
2-something a pack last I checked), and they've got the death penalty!  No
wonder so many rednecks live down there! :^D  BUT they did outlaw cock
fighting (snicker) in 98 unfortunately :^/

(Tounge in cheek folks, tounge in cheek ;^))

Most of it comes from that Iowa / Missouri war back in the 1800's that about
98% of people don't know about.  The bottom tier of counties in Iowa had a
great reputation for raising honey bees, and the state made a lot of money
from the honey.  MO decided that the bottom tier of Iowa counties was
theirs, so they sent in their Nat'l Gaurd.  Then we sent our Nat'l Gaurd
down there.  Maybe a day's worth of fighting, but in the end we whupped them
all the way back down there ;^)  (At least I think that's how it happened...
was the 5th grade when I learned about it :^)  Will check Google later.
Think it was called "The Beehive War" or something.)

72/73/oo
Rob, w0jrm

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