[SOC] Investing

[W2AGN]

Subject: Investing
 BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
 himself for a financial genius.

 BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance,
 the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

 MOMENTUM INVESTING -- The fine art of buying high and selling low.

 VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
 market keeps crashing.

 BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
 equally between themselves.

 FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he
 runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

 MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

 CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.

 YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.

 WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought
 Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

 PROFIT -- Religious guy who talks to God



--
  _    _    _    _    _  
 / \  / \  / \  / \  / \ John L. Sielke
( W )( 2 )( A )( G )( N ) http://www.w2agn.net
 \_/  \_/  \_/  \_/  \_/ ARCI, NJQRP, ARQrp,GQRP,RSGB
Ex- K3HLU, W7JEF, W4MPC, N4JS