[SOC] Tr: Memo to Employees

[F5PBL]

            Dear Employee:

            As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department
 areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this
 plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus
 permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.
 Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current
 fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

            This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel).
            Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look
 for jobs outside the company.

            SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment
 records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the
 program is called SCREW.

            SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All
 employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper
 management.

            This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following
            Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may
 be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the
 company deems appropriate.


            If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be
 entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early
 Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).

            As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who
 has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the
 company.

            Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on
 board that the company will continue its policy of training employees
 through our:


            Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the
 amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT
 than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive
 enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.

            Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive
            all the SHIT you can stand.

            And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.