[SMCARA] YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK DXER

[Tom Shelton]

Mike Crabtree, AB0X wrote this for the Kansas DX Club
newsletter.  Good chuckles:

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK DXER! by AB0X

Remember to say the following phrase before each statement. “You might be a 
Redneck DXer” if. . .
..You call your ex-wives “deletions.”
..You have used a piece of rope thru your belt loops as a climbing belt.
..You pack for the Dayton trip in Wal-Mart sacks.
..Your DX Club holds meetings down at the Waffle House.
..You have ever operated 20 Meters from your Bass boat.
..You kill a Copperhead every time you cut grass/weeds around the tower.
..You have taken down a broken antenna with a shotgun.
..You didn’t operate Field Day because you were building a fireworks stand.
..You have ever shot at a deer out of the window in your radio shack.
..Your DX club has Carp fishing, noodling or coon hunting on the agenda for
Field Day activities.
..You can tune your 80 Meter vertical by spraying RoundUp around its base!
..Your radio club has “club overalls” instead of club shirts.
..You have 3 HF transceivers duct-taped on top of each other, and only the
top one works.
..Your DX club’s constitution has the term “Ifyaontto” in the BY-Laws.
(Ex.-President can form committees Ifyaontto.)
..Your radio club had an article in its newsletter on “Grounding Double
Wides.”
..You have ever sent your XYL out in the dark to check an antenna for you.
..Your Radio club had a fist fight in the parking lot after the last club
election.
..You can chew tobacco and work Phone Sweepstakes at the same time.
..Your DX club motto is “Git’R Done!”
..You tell people that the empty 807 cans in the back of your pick up help
the groundplane on your 2 Meter antenna.
..You shot at a Bugcatcher of a W1 mobile who passed you on I-70!
..You have never been too drunk to climb a tower.
..You solicited donations from Budweiser and Skoal for a club DXpedition.
..Your DX club Treasurer has accepted bullets instead of money for dues.
..Your DX/Contest club has 3 contest teams: The Fords, Chevys and Dodges.
..Your DX club President was late for the last meeting, because he had to
stop and pull some guy out of the ditch on the way.
..Your DX Club petitioned the ARRL DX Advisory Committee for separate
country status for the Ozarks.
..You can fish, drink beer and talk on the club repeater all at the same
time.
..You have bird dogs named Tromelin and Glorioso.