[SMCARA] You might be a Redneck Ham if!

[A.J. Farmer (AJ3U)]

>  You might be a Redneck Ham if:
>
>you think: quarter wave is a midget female in the navy, a half wave is 
>bigger, standing wave is a group of them in formation.
>
>feed line is what you get in to eat.
>
>resistor is what you do to a ugly girl.
>
>coax is what you do with a pretty girl.
>
>rubber duck is a decoy.
>
>linear has something to with your family tree, despite it's lack of
branches.
>
>radiator is part of your pickup.
>
>propagation is the rate of reproduction.
>
>ionosphere means "the basketball is mine".
>
>tube is the TV.
>
>transistor is a nun who had a sex change.
>
>zepp is a breakfast cereal.
>
>whip is what your kid can do to the honor student.
>
>harmonic is what Charlie McCoy plays music with.
>
>image is something you look at, if you shave.
>
>parasites is two locations.
>
>DX is just a brand name for gasoline.
>
>QRP is a kidney disease.
>
>impedance is a jig you do while looking for a restroom.
>
>ohms is Watson's detective partner.
>
>current is some kind of berry.
>
>a handheld could lead to romance.
>
>a loudspeaker is a cheerleader.
>
>ampere is a ear deformity.
>
>volt is what you do on a Tuesday in November.
>
>watt is often asked by someone hard of hearing.
>
>chip is something you avoid stepping in, out in the pasture.
>
>beam is an illumination for frog gigging.
>
>quad is a form of carburation.
>
>slow scan is what you do when a girl walks by.
>
>contact is what you yell when jump starting your pickup.
>
>digital means displaying one finger.
>
>a condenser is something that puts milk in cans.
>
>an inductor works for Amtrak.
>
>a coil is used to make moonshine.
>
>polarization is the difference between races.
>
>meter is being introduced to a woman.
>
>160 is the average speed for a NASCAR race.
>
>mobile is another brand of gasoline.
>
>switch is swapping mates.
>
>knife is pulling out a bigger blade in a fight.
>
>push to talk is forcing yourself to be heard in a beer joint.
>
>pair of strippers is two naked girls.
>
>keyer is a locksmith.
>
>connector is a dating service.
>
>rotor is part of a pickup axle.