[R-390] Slightly OT

[Leanne]

 I was cleaning up the shop and found this which was  posted in a qual lab that I worked in many years ago.

How to Repair An Electronic Instrument

Step 1.  Approach the ailing instrument in a confident manner. This will give the instrument the mistaken idea that you know something. It will also impress anyone who happens to be looking, and if the instrument should suddenly start working, you will be credited with it's repair. If this step fails to work, proceed to step 2.

Step 2.  Wave the service manual at the instrument. This will make it assume that you are at least familiar with the source of knowledge. If this fail to work, proceed to step 3. 

Step 3.  In a forceful manner, recite Ohm's Law to the instrument. (caution: Before taking this step, refer to some reliable handbook to be sure of your knowledge of Ohm's Law.) This will prove to the instrument beyond of a shadow of a doubt that you know something. This is a drastic step and should be attempted only if the first two steps fail. If this step fails, proceed to step 4.

Step 4.  Jar the instrument slightly. This may require anything from a three to six foot drop, preferably on a concrete floor. However, you must be careful with this step because while jarring is approved of repair, you must not mar the floor. Again, this is a drastic step. If it fails then proceed to step 5.

Step 5.  Brandish a large screwdriver in a menacing manner. This will frighten the instrument and demonstrate you knowledge of the deadly short circuit technique. Proceed to step 6.

Step 6.  Add a tube.... even if the instrument is solid state. This will prove that you are familiar with the instruments' design. This will confuse the instruments and thereby increase your advantage. If this doesn't work,  proceed to the most drastic and dangerous step. It is seldom needed and is a final resort, if all else fails!!

Step 7  ..........................................................THINK..........................................................................!!