[PVRCNC] Carnac does SS, snaps, Oct Minutes

[Guy Olinger, K2AV]

Had to happen sooner or later. Sunday afternoon catch Carnac at key
slipping in clandestine SS time whilst he thought I was outside on XYL
honey-do. Not too bad on CW. Apparently gave up on TR, doing paper log
on a roll of toilet paper jammed on #2 tuner loading knob. I stayed
out of sight, listened, took a few notes:

Carnac on nr/prec: NR 1A...   NR 1B... NR 1C... NR 1D... ... NR
1Z... NR 2A ...

Carnac to QRP station: ?/QRP NO CPY. PSE QRO. NR? PREC? CALL? CK? SEC?

Carnac to WCF station: WEST OR CENTRAL WHICH?

Carnac to station signing GO SMC: ? WHR SMC? SAN MATEO COUNTY? WHY?

Carnac on Sunday afternoon: CQ SS DE FRSH MT.

Carnac on pileups: KN9W8EC2KAWZ/0/QRP NR 251X CARNAC 27 STICKS

Drooling while sending CW shuda been cause for alarm, but left him
alone and went downstairs to watch Larry King Live reruns on the
Prattle Channel.

Immersed in prattle when XYL jolted me out of it, "Carnac's up there
making strange noises, check him out."

Carnac doing little foot stomp, making low growling and shrieking
noises. From radio, "CQ SS
K9XYZQ...CQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCARNACSSK...9XYZQ
SS...CQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCARNACSSK...Q SS
K9XYZQ...CQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCCARNACSSK..."

Someone trying to take his run frequency, predictable response. Go
downstairs, tell XYL he's same as me, just noisier and droolier. Watch
one more LKL guest. XYL says he's getting worse. Go upstairs.

Frequency of shrieking noise up half octave, growling noise plus 30
db. Double leg stomp now, tongue hanging out, bulging wide-eyed stare,
"9XYZQ...CQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCARNACSSK...YZQ
SS...CQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCQCCARNACSSK..."

What to do? Stroke eminent! Emergency response! Interrupt vicious
cycle! Throw circuit breaker out in hall!

EEEEEEIIIIIIAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Crashing noises, breaking
noises, more screaming, thumping noises, ripping noises. Quiets down.
Heavy breathing noises.

Carefully peek around door. Carnac in far corner, disheveled, rocking
back and forth, hunched over pile of stuff: shredded SS log, MP
pieces, front panel from #1 tuner, contents of desk drawer, top of
desk, mail, bills, October PVRCNC minutes (!!), all accumulating
drool.

Growling out visceral "My freq, my freq, QRP sucks, SMC sucks!" over
and over. Moving toward Carnac raises intensity and evokes hostile
gestures.

Shorten long story, intervention deemed dangerous. Shack
unapproachable. Food left in hall at night gone next morning. After
some weeks of this with no change, suggestion from relative resulted
in leaving opened full bottle of Siberian hooch with food.

Next morning found him downstairs watching LKL reruns, no memory of
events. He did ask whether PVRC beat SMC in SS.

Retrospective: Never mess with Carnac defending a run frequency.
Pulling Carnac's plug doesn't work. Use hooch. Never let Carnac
operate unless bills are paid and club minutes are done.

Dried out, disinfected PVRCNC Oct minutes:

============================================

PVRCNC, Ryan's, Crossroads Plaza, Cary  3 Oct 2002.

Attending, in no particular order: Bob N2NFG, Brian K3KO, Jeff NX9T,
Will WJ9B, Jim K4QPL, Nate N4YDU, Bert N4CW, Alan KO7X, Guy K2AV, Wes
K4WES, Jim WW4M.

Meeting called to order at the usual time with the usual results
(chair gets the razz).

Around the Horn:

N4YDU in the IARU, IOTA with KO4PY. Set up out on the banks, reported
that there were clouds of mosquitoes and conditions sucked, but failed
to mention whether the two phenomena were related, which started
another one of those interminable cause and effect discussions at the
south end of the table.

Also reported some kind of zoning problem starting up for hams in
Franklin County.

N4CW will be down east (that's up in Maine for rednecks) for a month.
Main exercise had something to do with spackle. Whether that was for
walls (for a whole month?) or something unprintable in these pages not
determined. Subsequent reference to VHF test non-sequitur.

KO7X was on in the sprint, further demonstrating the effect of
southern weather.

N2NFG had various tower, antenna and horticultural woes, interrelated
to a surprising degree. Does plan an antenna party, but assured us
that the Garden Club format will not be used for the morning.

K3KO took down his 10m antenna and sold it to N4YDU. Nate was
immediately warned to disinfect it for amplifier cooties before taking
it home by the south end of the table, who interrupted their
statistical consult on mosquitoes and band conditions for the purpose.

Brian also told a fetching story about a mockingbird hopping up the
rungs of his tower. No doubt mocking the hazer.

NX9T reported that he needs a beverage, but would have to run it
downhill, requesting commentary on efficacy of same. South end of
table abandoned mosquitoes and band conditions for new discussion
whether downhill polarization is vertical or just downhill.

WJ9B reported on WAE and first encounter with QTC's. Comment was that
he appeared sane and in remarkably good health, considering.

K4QPL did the WAE and Sprint and reported the results of homebrew SO2R
box version 11.2c.

K4WES did the WW RTTY. No fires, blown traps, amps or any such. Are
you sure it was on, Wes?

WW4M wants to watch (not operate) a RTTY contest, with the intention
of getting his feet wet. South end of table reminded him that oil on
the shoes went out with heavy metal, it's all electronic now. North
end got off on tangent about exactly how one WATCHES an RTTY test.
Unwittingly resurrected the TR-vs.-WriteLog-ish flap on which is the
best RTTY program.

N4YDU asked people to watch out for NR3X which might be him. South end
of table interrupted their polarization debate to strongly advise Nate
NOT to use this call in the SS.

Since the south end of table had been effectively adjourned since
mosquitoes and band conditions, north end adjourned to miscellaneous
BS and scientific discussions, whereupon all polar differentiation
ceased.

73, Guy.