[PaQSO] Gotta Love PA

[N3WAV@aol.com]

A variation on a theme!

Gotta love PA
       You can say the phrase "fire hall wedding
reception" and not even bat an eye.  
       You know what a "State Store" is, and your
out-of-state friends find it  incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at
the mini-mart. 
       You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn 
chips,
pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkey,
beans or bologna.  
       Words like "hoagie," "sticky buns," "pierogies" and "pocketbook" 
actually  means something to you.  
       You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the 
same.
       You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you
know it comes in multiple colors: Red, White, Brown, and Gold.   
       You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Lebanon 
Bologna,  and Hot Bacon Dressing. 
       You can eat a cold soft pretzel with deli mustard smeared
on it from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it.    
       Your turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT 
"dressing."
       You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak
sandwich, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.  
       You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the
beginning of  funnel cake season. 
       You know that Blue Ball, Climax,
Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville,  Paradise, Mars, Intercourse, and
Slippery Rock are towns. 
       You can give directions to "Intercourse, PA" with a straight face.  
       You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
       You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly."  And 
New
Jersey has always been "Jersey," and the Atlantic Ocean as "the shore."
       You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, or other 
neighboring
states by their unique and irritating driving habits. 
       At least 5 people on your block have electric
"candles" in all or most of  their windows all year long.  
       You know several people who have hit deer more than once.  
       You know who "Punxsutawney Phil" is, and what it means if he sees his  
shadow.
       You know what a " Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch 
at least
highlights of the parade.
       You carry jumper cables in your car, and your female passengers know
how to use them.   
       You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you
hear the word  "snow."  
       You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.   
       You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snowbrush
in your trunk, even if you live in the south.
       Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled 
with  snow.
       You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie. 
       You think a typical vacation is two    weeks on the front stoop. 
       School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to
finish, because just about every town has its own school district. 
       When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," and when
someone says 1979, you think "TMI." 
       As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were
taller than you were.
       "Youse guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men
& women.
       You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?"  (Did you eat 
yet?). 
       You can say the correct pronunciation of LANK-is-ter
instead of the mispronounced Laan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead
of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON.   
       You know how to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Bryn Athyn, Wilkes-Barre,
Schuylkill,  Bala Cynwyd, Conshohocken, and Monongahela.  
       You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.  
       You call Sloppy Joes "Barbecue." 
       You think medium rare equals well done. 
       You can stop along the road to buy fruits,
vegetables, or crafts on the  "honor system."
       You buy your beer and soda only by the case.  
       You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and  

"They're calling for snow."   
       You think the roads in any other state are smooth.  
       You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know
the fastest way to  Philly is the Turnpike.   
       You know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe that it
really is a premium beer (which comes from growing up on Schlitz and Iron  
City).
       You have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the glass lined 
tanks
of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment."
       You refer to something as "a whole nother," as in
"That's a whole nother issue."   
       The local paper covers National and International headlines on 1/4
page but  requires six pages for sports.  
       The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.  
       You know the four seasons: Winter,
Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.   
       Your municipality buys a Zamboni before a  school bus.   
       And you actually understand these jokes and send them on to other
Pennsylvanians.