[NCARC] BPL: The real truth of the acronym

[George Salzmann]

All,

   This is a bit wordy, but you might find it funny.

   What exactly does BPL stand for? Some of you might answer, "Simple,
Broadband over Power Lines." Ah, but how wrong you are!

   I once thought that too, but after several nights of exhaustive
web-research, I have finally discovered the true meaning behind the acronym
that has the Amateur and short-wave communities in an uproar. It's simple:

   BPL = Big Pocket Linings

   You see, electric company executives are typically used to having just
that. Big Pocket Linings. Back in the good, old days when generating and
delivering power required intelligent, thinking humans, electricity was
treated like gold. Early on in the previous century, having a home that was
wired for electricity, or having your home wired, was a sign of status.
Needless to say, power was in demand, and the Big Pocket Linings people
could charge a hefty sum for this new and exciting entity.

   Ah, but how the times have changed. Without touching on the obvious
failures of a well-known, west coast power monger, it is safe to say that
the joy of having electricity has slowly transformed into a right in this
country. Although nearly all of us cannot live without that 60 cycle gold
that flows from three-pronged plugs in our homes, we expect to have 24-7-365
access to the stuff, much like the way we expect to have other essentials,
such as Coca Cola, or MTV (OK bad analogies, but you get the point.).

   Well, being that the electrico execs. liked the fact that they were
lining their pockets for the energy that their companies produced, they
thought more was better, right? Well, for a little while. I guess the
electrico fatcats slept through their college macroeconomics course the day
that the professor taught supply and demand.

   It's kinda funny when you think about it, because they got bit by supply
and demand twice. Once, when trying to greedily supply our voracious
appetite for electricity, and a second time for relying almost
wholeheartedly on using finite resources to produce their energy. Oops.

   So, now the electrico fatcats weren't as fat as they used to be. That
didn't please them. They knew that they needed something to get themselves
back to their portly selves, or else they'd be forced to live like mere
wealthy people. I can only imagine, but the thought must have driven them
insane.

   Now they found themselves thinner than ever. What to do, they wondered?
Greed and avarice failed miserably, as did a host of other things not suited
for this discussion.

   Then, one day, an East Coast fatcat came up with an ingenious strategy.
One evening, while relaxing in his bathtub with his faithful rubber-duckie,
Mr. fatcat stumbled upon the memory of his childhood days when mother used a
device that plugged into the outlet to keep tabs on her little, precious,
bubbling, baby Booby-Bob. He used to scream at it whenever he was hungry.
Sure enough, within minutes of his scream,  Sandra, their housekeeper, would
bring him a big bowl of chocolate ice cream.
   "Those were the days," he thought.
   Then it occurred to him that if someone could put his voice over the
electrical wires, then there would be no reason why we couldn't put the
Internet over them, too, right? After all, bigger and more is better, isn't
it?

   So, he brought the idea to his Senior Engineer, Dave, who was retiring
from the company in a week. He asked Dave if this was possible, and if so,
how it could be done. Dave told Mr. fatcat that in order to do so, they
would have to use high-frequency RF radiation, and that by putting that type
of energy over wires that are potentially resonant at the frequency of
operation would be more foolish and asinine that what his cronies on the
other side of the continent did. While I will only make passing mention that
Dave never made it to retirement, it is sad to say that his initial idea
lives on.

   With Dave out of the way and many others like him had either retired, or
had been displaced by a computer,  he knew that getting his idea to stick
would be child's play. After all, most of the engineering and operations
staff who worked for his electrico were fresh out of school and could barely
tell the difference between an insulator and a transformer, if put in front
of them, but boy could they get those computers to work for them! Of course,
they jumped at the thought of Mr. fatcat's idea, and there you have it, BPL
was born.

   I could wax poetic about how the government swallowed this golden turd,
but it's late, and I'm sure you could fill in the blanks.

73,

George