[Milsurplus] Very OT: C-47 Aircraft Radio Restoration

Fri Oct 30 16:10:52 EDT 2009

This is the wittiest thing I read the whole day... nay / the whole month!

73, Meir
Landrum, SC, North American Provinces

Quoting Lloyd KK7IZ <kk7iz at cox.net>:

> To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
> Queen Elizabeth II
>
> In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
> for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
> notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
>
>
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over
> all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does
> not fancy).
>
> Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America
> without the need for further elections.
>
> Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
>
> A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
> noticed.
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules
> are introduced with immediate effect:
>
>  (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
>
> 1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
> amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
>
> 2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour',
> 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut'
> without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by
> the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary
> to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
>
> 3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
> 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
> communication. There is no such thing as US English. We WI ll let M*crosoft
> know on your behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
> into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
>
> 4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
>
> 5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or
> therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that
> you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for
> shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
> speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
>
> 6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
> dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you
> wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
>
> 7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
> driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
> go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
> tables.   Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the
> British sense of humour.
>
>
> 8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
> calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
>
> 9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are
> not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
> properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
> dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
>
> 10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer
> at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,
> and European brews of known and accept Ed provenance will be referred to as
> Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the
> greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They
> are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American
> brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be
> sold without risk of further confusion.
>
> 11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
> guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English
> characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four
> Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed
> with a cheese grater.
>
>
> 12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
> proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
> time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
> football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
> wearing full kevlar body Armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try rugby -
> the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.
>
> 13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
> event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
> America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
> borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
> let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
> deliveries.
>
> 14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
>
> 15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
> Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
> due (backdated to 1776).
>
> 16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers,
> and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus
> strawberries (with cream) when in season.
>
> God Save the Queen!
>
>
>
> Thanx
> Lloyd  KK7IZ
> kk7iz at cox.net
> 480-620-7145
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Michael Tauson" <wh7hg.hi at gmail.com>
> To: <whitaker at ieee.org>
> Cc: <milsurplus at mailman.qth.net>
> Sent: Friday, October 30, 2009 6:00 AM
> Subject: Re: [Milsurplus] Very OT: C-47 Aircraft Radio Restoration
>
>
>> On Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 2:56 AM, C.Whitaker <whitaker at pa.net> wrote:
>>> So, Civil War. Now you take a look at the situation
>>> in 2009 and tell me who really won. You wonder if
>>> the people of the United States can govern themselves.
>>
>> Y'think maybe England would be willing to take us back?  :-)
>>
>> Best regards,
>>
>> Michael, WH7HG
>
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