[Milsurplus] Very OT: C-47 Aircraft Radio Restoration

[Lloyd KK7IZ]

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty 
Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates 
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give 
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.


Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over 
all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does 
not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America 
without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you 
noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules 
are introduced with immediate effect:

 (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be 
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour', 
'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' 
without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by 
the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary 
to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 
'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of 
communication. There is no such thing as US English. We WI ll let M*crosoft 
know on your behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take 
into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or 
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that 
you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for 
shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or 
speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more 
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you 
wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start 
driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will 
go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion 
tables.   Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the 
British sense of humour.


8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been 
calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are 
not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are 
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and 
dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer 
at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, 
and European brews of known and accept Ed provenance will be referred to as 
Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the 
greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They 
are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American 
brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be 
sold without risk of further confusion.

11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good 
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English 
characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four 
Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed 
with a cheese grater.


12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of 
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in 
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American 
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or 
wearing full kevlar body Armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try rugby - 
the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an 
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of 
America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your 
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will 
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their 
deliveries.

14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's 
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies 
due (backdated to 1776).

16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, 
and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus 
strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!



Thanx
Lloyd  KK7IZ
kk7iz at cox.net
480-620-7145


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Michael Tauson" <wh7hg.hi at gmail.com>
To: <whitaker at ieee.org>
Cc: <milsurplus at mailman.qth.net>
Sent: Friday, October 30, 2009 6:00 AM
Subject: Re: [Milsurplus] Very OT: C-47 Aircraft Radio Restoration


> On Fri, Oct 30, 2009 at 2:56 AM, C.Whitaker <whitaker at pa.net> wrote:
>> So, Civil War. Now you take a look at the situation
>> in 2009 and tell me who really won. You wonder if
>> the people of the United States can govern themselves.
>
> Y'think maybe England would be willing to take us back?  :-)
>
> Best regards,
>
> Michael, WH7HG