[Lowfer] How to give a cat a pill...

[Lewis Denton]

Being a Cat owner, I love it!!! They are independent critters.
I am ready to look for TMO and who ever down south. however we have thunder
storms moving in tonight and tomorrow..
I have been looking for R in OK. he has changed to QRSS20,
So far no luck. listen out for him you guys
Lewis
God Bless America
----- Original Message -----
From: "KD7JYK" <kd7jyk@ross-technologies.com>
To: <lowfer@mailman.qth.net>
Sent: Monday, December 02, 2002 11:40 PM
Subject: [Lowfer] How to give a cat a pill...


> How To Give Your Cat A Pill
>
>
>
> 1)  Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding
a
> baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of
>
> cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in
right
> hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth, allow cat to close mouth and
> swallow.
>
>
>
> 2)  Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
> arm and repeat process.
>
>
>
> 3)  Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
>
>
>
> 4)  Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws
> tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth
with
> right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
>
>
>
> 5)  Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of refrigerator.
Call
> spouse from garden.
>
>
>
> 6)  Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and
rear
> paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly
with
> one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and
rub
> cat's throat vigorously.
>
>
>
> 7)  Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
> note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep
>
> shattered Doulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing
> later.
>
>
>
> 8)  Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just
> visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth
> open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
>
>
>
> 9)  Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of
> water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove
> blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
>
>
>
> 10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
> cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open
> with dessert spoon. Shoot pill down throat with rubber band.
>
>
>
> 11) Get screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Throw T-shirt
> away and fetch new one from bedroom.
>
>
>
> 12) Call Fire Department to retrieve cat from tree across the street.
> Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
> Take last pill from foil wrap.
>
>
>
> 13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly
to
> leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's
> mouth open with small garden shovel. Push pill into mouth followed by
large
> piece of filet steak.  Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water
down
> throat to wash pill down.
>
>
>
> 14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while
doctor
> stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from right eye. Call
furniture
> store on way home to order new table.
>
>
>
> 15) Arrange for SPCA to pick up cat and call local pet shop to see if they
> have any hamsters.
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> >From the Lowfer mailing list
> Send messages to: Lowfer@mailman.qth.net
> To sub/unsub visit: http://mailman.qth.net/mailman/listinfo/lowfer
>