[K3PZN-List] National parks on the air

Fri May 20 06:20:10 EDT 2016

In case you missed it, here's a funny piece on NPOTA from Facebook.

73,
Dave N3ZPC

------------------------

de KB1HQS:

Heads up to anyone looking to operate in the DC area:

So I was in DC yesterday at a park operating my radio when the following
occurred.

Park Po-Po stopped by yesterday as I was finishing up my NPOTA activation
at LBJ Memorial and wanted to know what I was doing.

After a polite exchange of a ARRL Brochure, FCC and state licenses (No
warrants!), I was informed that operating portable at LBJ is a no-go unless
approval from HQ is granted. Memorial parks downtown (MLK, Thomas
Jefferson,etc) are not allowed and the operator will be told to leave if
they are there operating there.

***************************************************************

In response to this unconstitutional act of aggression and violation of my
Bill of Ham Rights, I flashed my official HAM RADIO badge that I keep on
war belt, bladed at 45.2 degrees and yelled, "YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY KX3".
"YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY KX3". (this tactic had worked previously at the mall
last week).

Utilizing my highly specialized Ham vocabulary, I decided to get inside
their OODA loop by asking, "QRZ? QRZeeeeeeed?" They looked confused and
amused at the same time. Perhaps it was my armpit sweat stained "Hams do it
with more frequency" shirt. Or maybe my man strength pheromones from not
showering for 2 weeks was overpowering them with my awesomeness. My ham man
awesomeness.

My sidekick T-Dog, a highly trained attack dog (illegal in 23 states, 2
territories and kicked out of 4 doggie daycares, winner of the All American
Dangerous Breed Show), 30# beagle mixed blood mutt (.000001% Pit Bull) that
I bought at the pound for $87, waited intently with steely eyes for my
German commands to attack....with a hate cursing through him that he
usually reserves for the mailman/UPS.

Or so I thought, as he was actually casually lounging under the bench
snoring.... With authority and using my SSB DX shouting voice, I barked
commands in German to awake the man-devil attack dog. He didn't stir an
inch.  Siri, on my iPhone however did respond, in German, asking "wie kann
ich dir helfen?" Considering the only German I knew were commands and one
question like, "Roll over, play dead, sit pretty and where is the
bathroom?" I had no idea what Siri was saying. At this point, I needed
reinforcements and I needed them fast.

I told Siri (in English) to call the ARRL HQ...the call went thru but all I
got was voice mail and an voice offer to renew my membership, a discounted
"Ham Hijinks" book from 1983, and a lightly used PL-259 connector attached
to 10 year old coax 1" long from the ARRL lab.

It was at this point, my wife texted me...

GOOD LORD! WHAT DOES SHE WANT NOW?

Doesn't she know I'm busy laying down the Ham law? My iPhone is set up to
translate text messages into CW (4WPM) so I don't even have to look at the
phone. She texted the following," Can you please stop by at Whole Foods and
get some Organic Gluten & Nut Free Almond milk? The kind that comes in a
box...Also I found a pile of dog vomit in the basement this am, can you
clean it up? One last thing, please call my mother, you forgot her birthday
again this year"

Ugggghhh! I didn't have time to respond because the

EMERGENCY contingency plan was now in effect (Two is one, one is none, fill
in often repeated poor informed Retard Radio Robert saying here). I grabbed
my Delorme Inreach that I keep on my war belt next to my HT, to send an
encrypted text to the OM to sell his 23 year old broken MFJ radio (the one
he dropped down the stairs last year for that You Tube video he was doing
on torture testing radios) at Dayton at full retail price to free up some
funds for bail $$ and dog treats.

The Park Police (PP) apparently were threatened by my cool Iridium handheld
communicator Star Trek device since all they had were crappy P25 Motorola
radios. They moved in for the kill like a pack of hams at an all you can
eat buffet after a long sweaty day at the Flea Market.

I knew how this was going to go down, I'd been in this position before. A
beating with night sticks, violation of MA RIGHTS! and hopefully a 6 figure
lawsuit and a spot on Oprah. Maybe she will give everyone in the audience a
free ICOM-7300! At a minimum, I will at least get an award from ARRL for
saving the day and defending Hams and their radio rights all over the world.

As the control operator, I commanded in a low primal guttural voice, "You
will not violate my constitutional rights! I am a FCC HAM RADIO Operator!
When all else fails, you will call me! My FCC license gives me the right to
operate anywhere I want, at any time! YOU WILL RESPECT MA AUTHORITY!" This
gave the PP a pause, they didn't realize the seriousness of this operation.
Then I heard uncontrollable laughing...a definite sign of weakness. They
were scared...they knew they were up against a true professional bad ass
"Operator", one with 8 confirmed DX (Canada) contacts (all on JT65 @
200Watts).

I started digging frantically in my bag for my yellow vest with flashing
LED name tag and my QSL cards, carefully hiding my 5kW illegal cb-modified
amplifier that I power off my Rascal Ham-scooter De-Luxe (illegally parked
I may add). It was then, my Communist Red Star, Tiger Stripped CAMO
BOW-O-FENG 8.7W Fisher Price-like HT with the rat tail fell on the soft
green grass and broke into 34 pieces but not before giving one last death
rattle roger beep. I weep for you, you poor HT. You cannot be replaced
(well, maybe for $24 at Amazon).

Like the Matrix and the time at that wedding last summer when I drank too
much Jaegermeister, time was slowing down. .... As my last resort utilizing
my gross motor skills learned at Rex Kwan Do, I grabbed my 20' fishing pole
that I was using as my poorly tuned non-resonant 1/4wl vertical with the
anticipation of using it as a makeshift impact weapon, 6 radials and all.
Indiana Jones Ham Bullwhip if you will.....

WHAM! BLAT! The next thing I knew, I felt an earth shattering shock...I
must have hit the PTT button as I was grabbing the antenna...I can see the
light! I can see the light! Who knew QRP RF burns could hurt so bad! Must
protect the KX3 at all costs! This must be end! KB1HQS....SK....SK....SK.

Wait, what is the horrible smell and why is my face wet? I found myself on
the ground with a taser barb in my head, my dog licking my face, and me
still clutching my crumpled FCC license...My last cries were..."I'm calling
my lawyer! I know my rights!"

***************************************************************

<Parody mode off> I packed up my gear, got my documents back and headed
home. Park police were very polite and professional. I will work on getting
approval from NPS. So for those who are operating in the DC area, I would
hold off until things can get sorted out. The last thing I want to see is
our hobby and niche (NPOTA) get a bad reputation with NPS.

*My KX3 won't power on, would a taser shock cause any damage? Hopefully my
illegal CB 11m modification wasn't damaged.

On May 20, 2016 6:11 AM, "Curt Milton via K3PZN-List" <
k3pzn-list at mailman.qth.net> wrote:

> Kyle
>
>
> There is info on npota on arrl website.  In 2016 its a scheme to generate
> activity from nattional parkland.   Yes if they are listening where your
> license allows you to transmit, sure.
>
>
> Curt
>
>
>
> Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
>
> From:"Kyle Thornton" <kyle.3599 at outlook.com>
> Date:Thu, May 19, 2016 at 9:55 pm
> Subject:[K3PZN-List] National parks on the air
>
> Hi all,
> I've heard some national parks on the air CQ calls around 80m and 40m. I
> was wondering what all that is and if I'm aloud to contact them. I have
> seen lots about it but never actually heard the station of what it's about.
> Thanks
> Kyle
> 73 de KC3FMP - FM19KJ
> ______________________________________________________________
>
> 73 de K3PZN Westminster, MD
> ______________________________________________________________
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> 73 de K3PZN Westminster, MD
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