[HoustonHam] Uh ohhhh, NOT good news!!

[Chris Boone]

Solar Cycle 24 Canceled - Ham Radio Operators Furious!!


Story written: 1 April 2008

Released: 22 August 2008
Written by: Dr. Hugo S. Dere

Dayton, Ohio (IPP) - The next solar cycle was assigned the number 24 but has
been canceled by the International Astronomical Union (IAU). Scientists were
able to predict that this cycle would have been 30% to 50% stronger than the
previous solar cycle and it would have started a year later than previously
thought.

Scientists have been unable to accurately predict the intensity of future
solar cycles until recent times. All of that changed recently when the
Predictive Flux-transport Model was developed and put into effect. This new
method is thought to be 98% accurate.

Dr. Povenmire Finootch of the Mount Palomar Astronomical Campus and the
senior legal representative of the IAU takes full responsibility for
canceling the next solar cycle and has a black eye to show for it. He
recently got into a scrap with the head of the North American Ham Radio
Association, Joe Raydideeo, over the canceling of solar cycle 24. Dr.
Finootch claims that the IAU has complete authority over anything related to
the visible as well as the invisible portions of the electromagnetic
spectrum.

Ham operators take advantage of the increase in solar electromagnetic
activity by bouncing radio signals off of the ionosphere to each other in
the form of radio waves which are transmitted via upper and lower sideband
and cw ( continuous wave or Morse code). When the solar cycle is in full
swing it is possible for a Ham operator in North America to talk to his
counterpart in New Zealand using a mere 5 watts. 

Dr. Povenmire Finootch admits that he has a black eye but that nevertheless
he had thoroughly throttled his opponent during a fist fight they had during
the Ham Operator's Convention (HOC) in Key West last week. The two had
become embroiled in a fierce argument over whether or not the IAU had any
business sticking its nose into the business of Ham operators and this
argument evolved into fisticuffs to the delight of nearby bar patrons.

Dr. Povenmire Finootch seemed to go over the edge when Raydideeo claimed
that Dr. Finootch would not know the the difference between Ohm's Law vs
Kepler's Law if it "bit him on the ass". Dr. Finootch replied, "Neither
would you then!" Dr. Finootch did not realize that the Ham operator had a
well concealed "hair lip" under his moustache and the Ham operator was
equally unaware that Dr. Finootch had a wooden eye. The Ham operator
responded by saying, "Woudn't I, Wouldn't I" to which Doctor Finootch
replied, " Hair lip, hair lip!" And thus the fight was on!!

 

 

Some names and part of the story were changed to not protect the innocent
but to make it sound better J! Note the dateline of it...(Next year, they
need to put it OUT on the date written).