[HCRA] Fw: [YCCC] A Wife Strategy for Contesters

[Daniel J. Sullivan]

A very funny thread with the wife's point of view included!

Dan S
KO1D

----- Original Message ----- 

Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 4:28 PM
Subject: Re: [YCCC] A Wife Strategy for Contesters


> Oh, this cracks me up. The wife has no hobbies? CAn't
> you send her away to mom's for the weekend? Get her a
> room at the beach with the kids? A weekend in Boston?
> Common! You bought a ton or radio equipment. Let her
> shop!
> 
> AT my house before I was a ham, the man was boss (ex
> that is). If he said to leave him alone, I did. 
> 
> I think people need to give your wife something she
> wants. Hire a sitter for the weekend. Send the kids to
> grandma's and let the wife go shopping. What an easy
> sell. Stop whining about the wife. If she is stuck
> with the kids it doesn't take a rocket scientist to
> figure out that is why she is unhappy. Send her away
> for a weekend and she will love you. EAsy.
> 
> The best idea is make her a ham. I am one, so the
> proof is that it is possible and I am blond! 
> 
> Ham radio takes people away from kids. Swap kids for
> the weekend with friends...USE YOUR IMAGINATION!
> 
> The whole love thing has to do with basic respect. Any
> home where there is no balance spells trouble. I can
> tell you as a previous stay at home mom, yes, the job
> is easy, but the kids 24x7 makes a woman nuts. So, to
> sell contesting, let the woman off from the kids, go
> somewhere, and you can contest your ass off. Get them
> all out of the house. Problem solved. Next....
> 
> Lisa N1ice
> 
> 
> 
> --- Jim Idelson k1ir wrote:
> 
> > > I have constant distractions while trying to
> > operate.  I have a wife who 
> > can't understand why I contest no matter how I
> > explain this. She still thinks 
> > she should stop by ever hour to talk and distract
> > me. About ever 3 hours she 
> > insist I get off the radio.  I also have kids 5 and
> > 9 coming by, wanting to 
> > help, needing help,  being board, flipping switches,
> > and letting the dog out . 
> > . . <
> > 
> > Ok, Dave. The Doctor is IN. We need to talk about
> > this whole Wife thing. 
> > 
> > You have a Station Strategy. You have an Operating
> > Strategy. To be an effective 
> > contester, you must also have a Wife Strategy.
> > 
> > A Wife is the most important person in a contester's
> > life. She has complete 
> > control over the contester's ability to be
> > competitive. She actually has 
> > control of both of your critical resources - Money
> > and Time. You know that and 
> > She knows that.
> > 
> > So, if you expect to do well you must be treated
> > well by your Wife. How do you 
> > accomplish that? You must go out of your way to make
> > sure your Wife is Happy. 
> > All good things flow from having a Happy Wife. To
> > make a Happy Wife, you need 
> > to understand how a Wife works. A Wife has a limited
> > set of basic needs:
> > -  Security
> > -  Love
> > -  Evidence of above
> > 
> > There are a few other facts about a Wife that you
> > need to know.
> > -  A Wife is very conscious of Her Feelings. She
> > knows when She is Happy and 
> > when she is Sad.
> > -  Only Her Feelings matter. It doesn't matter what
> > she thinks about you, your 
> > buddies or contesting.
> > -  She needs to share Her Feelings with everyone in
> > Her environment. If She is 
> > Happy, everyone else must be Happy. Same for Sad.
> > -  A Wife's Feelings have a half-life of 6-12 hours.
> > [Under certain conditions 
> > this can be as low as 20 minutes.]
> > -  As the Feelings diminish, external stimulus can
> > regenerate them.
> > -  Larger amounts of stimulus can generate higher
> > levels of Feelings [let's 
> > remain focused on Happy Feelings here]. But,
> > remember that the half-life is 
> > still dominant.
> > -  The transition from Happy to Sad is not smooth.
> > Each Wife has a unique 
> > Feelings Transition Point [FTP]. You will need to
> > perform experiments to 
> > determine this point for your specific Wife.
> > 
> > Next concepts to understand:
> > -  Secure + Loved = Happy [Happy includes Relaxed,
> > Self-Sufficient, Trusting, 
> > Empathetic]
> > -  Insecure + Not Loved = Sad [Sad includes
> > Stressed, Needy, Suspicious, 
> > Antagonistic]
> > 
> > You provide Her with Security and Love. No doubt
> > about that. But, does the way 
> > you do it match the particular needs of your
> > specific Wife? Have you pushed Her 
> > Feelings level high enough so that you can get
> > through a contest before She has 
> > to face Her FTP?
> > 
> > Practical Techniques - Security
> > -  Overtly state that you are there for your Wife
> > and Kids
> > -  Make and keep family commitments
> > -  Assure your Wife that you will spend time with
> > Her at a specific date and 
> > time
> > -  Demonstrate your commitment to Her security - fix
> > something in the house, 
> > buy furniture
> > 
> > Practical Techniques - Love
> > -  Overtly declare your love for your Wife [ok if
> > done privately with Her; 
> > creates even higher level of Happy Feelings if done
> > in front of others]
> > -  Romantic gifts are effective - flowers, cards,
> > photographs, jewelry. Note 
> > that item cost does not have a dramatic impact.
> > -  S*x - [Be careful with this one during the
> > contest, particularly in multi's]
> > 
> > Practical Techniques - Timing and Frequency
> > -  Bear in mind that effects of simultaneous actions
> > do not tend to be 
> > additive.
> > -  Sequential actions tend to be cummulative.
> > -  Spread it out.
> > -  Ramp up in the week prior to the contest.
> > -  A major push on Thursday night is usually a good
> > tactic, followed by actions 
> > timed at 3-4 hour intervals right up to the start of
> > the contest.
> > -  Set and meet expectations in the days following
> > the contest.
> > 
> > Advanced Tip #1
> > -  Anticipate the possiblity that FTP may still
> > occur during the contest 
> > period. What can you do?
> > -  Take action during the contest. Invest in a
> > momentary Security or Love Boost 
> > during a low-rate hour.
> > -  This investment can be very powerful. She knows
> > you prefer to be in front of 
> > the radio. When you come upstairs for as little as
> > one minute just to say you 
> > Love Her, Her Happy Feelings level will soar
> > [temporarily]. But you have 
> > potentially fended off a major onslaught, just by
> > helping Her stay comfortably 
> > above FTP.
> > 
> > Advanced Tip #2
> > -  Understand that regularity is not always the best
> > state of affairs. 
> > -  A temporary absence may help reinforce the value
> > of your presence.
> > -  Occassional smaller gifts may help reinforce the
> > value of your presents.
> > -  Be careful. Always try to stay above FTP;
> > experiment with this concept 
> > judiciously.
> > 
> > Advanced Tips #3A and #3B
> > -  Remember that the Kids are simply an extension of
> > the Wife.
> > -  A - Focus on the Wife and She will take care of
> > the Kids.
> > -  B - Focusing on the Kids directly impacts Wife
> > Happy levels. A good 
> > 'under-the-radar' strategy.
> > 
> > Advanced Tip #4
> > -  Surprise Her sometimes
> > -  Planned and expected actions that make Her feel
> > Secure and Loved are great, 
> > but the same actions done spontaneously or
> > unexpectedly have higher impact.
> > -  For several weeks, She has been asking you to
> > repair the leaky kitchen 
> > faucet. You have choices: a) next time She asks, you
> > say ok and do it, b) when 
> > She is out, you take three hours to fix it and She
> > is pleasantly surprised when 
> > She discovers what you've done, or c) when She is
> > out, you have a plumber fix 
> > it while you build a new amplifier, and when She
> > discovers the repair She is 
> > pleasantly surprised AND She compliments you on the
> > superb quality of your 
> > work.
> > 
> > Summary
> > -  Your Wife is critical to your contesting efforts
> > -  Adopt a Wife Strategy
> > -  Understand the interplay of Security and Love
> > with Happy and Sad
> > -  Be aware of your Wife's FTP
> > -  Apply a variety of techniques
> > -  Keep it up year-round
> > -  Submit better contest scores
> > -  Apply beyond contesting
> > 
> > 73,
> > 
> > Jim Idelson K1IR
> > email    k1ir at designet.com
> > web    http://www.k1ir.com