[HBQRP] QRP Quips

[Michael Fletcher]

A bit of humor for under achievers.
73,
Mike KL7IXI
Omaha, NE

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Would you like to be a QRP operator ? Simply pull the plug.
Did you know a good QRP radio is actually a tape recorder ? This enables the operator to hold a qso.
Have you ever watched a QRP operator in action ? After each transmission he looks around the room to see if anyone heard him.
QRP clubs are gaining in popularity. Hams realize simultaneous transmission results in an audible signal.
Why do QRP operators, with an RST of 219, insist on telling you the details of their recent 2 month vacation ?
Did you notice QRP ops shout during an eyeball QSO ?
Old DX ops never die. They go QRP.
I listened to a QRP net last night and didn't hear a thing.
A QRO op gets by with a light bulb on a fence post. A QRP op needs stacked arrays.
How can you tell if a mobile station is QRP ? The cw is accompanied by hand signals.
Why does a QRP op leave his amp on ? To keep the coffee warm.
Why does a QRP op in North Dakota keep his amp on ? To sit on.
Why does a QRP op keep his amp on ? In case of an emergency situation.
I love QRP nets. It is always my turn.
Multipliers in a QRP contest are grid squares rather than countries.
The fastest and easiest way to switch to QRP; stop transmitting.
Funny thing, my AF knob does not work on .060.
How many QRP Ops can use the same frequency ? All of them, because they won't interfere with each other.
The best use of the chat room is for QRP ops to hold a QSO while on the air.
Why doesn't the new Ten Tec QRP rig have a frequency display ? Does it matter ?
QRP keys also serve as tie clasps.
To listen to QRP signals, turn the AF gain all the way down.
Vic keeps his QRP rig in a cigarette pack so he won't sit on it.
Instead of calling CQ for endless hours, QRP ops build kits.
Have you noticed QRP ops talk to themselves a lot ?
What does a QRP op gain from having an antenna ? Nothing, but the hardware store does.
Have you ever wondered why QRP rigs are so simple to use ?
Did you notice a QRP op makes as many contacts after his batteries die ?
Why are there no questions on FCC exams regarding QRP operation ? You can't improve a good joke.
How many QRP stations does it take to make a QSO from one state to another ? Sorry still counting relays.
One advantage of QRP is no RFI complaints from ops or neighbors.
If you make a mistake during assembly of a QRP kit, your number of contacts will not be affected.
I think I have finally made a QRP contact. The QRP rig was accidentally connected to my 11 element log periodic.
Quiet Radio Power
They mistake feedback in their headphones for a response to CQ.
SWR is of little concern during QRP operation. Forward power is required.
I do not mid QRP contests and contesters. The bands are still free.
Backpackers love QRP because they don't have to carry a heavy battery.
My QRP station sets up quickly. I just insert batteries into the code practise oscillator and open a window.
Scoring in a QRP contest is as follows: Q S O = 5 points, Q S B = 2 points, Q R J = 1 point, "I think I hear something" = ½ point
Who needs a transmatch ? There is nothing to tune.
By going QRP, I lowered my high SWR and still make the same number of contacts.
Logging in a QRP contest requires only a summery page.
In a QRPr's log, received RST is usually "what?";
There is no change in an operator's score if he falls asleep during a QRP contest.
Lazy contesters go QRP to avoid logging hassles.
A QRP station uses more amp hours than a QRO station due to continuously calling CQ.
The only morse code a QRPer must know is "CQ de ( his call sign )".
CW QRP, utilizing earphones, is great for maintaining sanity while living in close quarters with non hams.
The Elecraft, KX1, qrp radio has a built-in flashlight which is used to shine into the eyes of the receiving station operator to advise of an incoming message.
I have made more QSOs using the logging lamp on the KX1 than using the paddles.