[Hammarlund] Flash: HCI NCS Lost In Blizzard Or Bagged By Big Foot?

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

Yo Humans, it is I, Mr. Super Amphibian, the merry mighty marsh myth come to
life and coming to a big pond 'near' you! So get your quad wheelers inside
that atom bomb shelter your late Aunt Ima Doofus, had built in the late
fifties with money she raised by embaulming Rats as Halloween toys and
selling Coon skin hats with an odd tail! Hide your cash, stock certificates,
bloated buldging at the belt line piggy banks, jewelry, coin and stamp
collections, retirement funds and anything else you can redeem at a bank,
antique dealer or pawn shop!  Then send all those beautiful sexy females off
to a Convent somewhere in Tibet that as yet has not been discovered by a
Cryptozoologist, or is it a Cartographer?  One of those dudes who draws maps
for that Rand McNutty 'Where's De Road? Alas!' travel guide. But right now,
we have a problem. So blow your nose to clear your sinuses and those logic
free cobwebs of preoccupied thought, so you can like pay attention! Just be
careful not to blow your brains out in the process! CROAK!

At this very moment, 2:52 AM EST Sunday February 5th, the blind dude is
AWOL, MIA or simply put, missing! As much as I detest having to admit it, I
am worried enough that my hyde has had some pigment changes that make me
look like bleached Spinich! Outside it is so close to a for real blizzard
that I just saw one of those large St. Bernard rescue dogs with a two gallon
wood barrel of ginger flavored brandy hanging from a glow in the dark chain
around his neck! He was on motorized snow skis with a two meter whip antenna
sticking out the top of his knitted florescent red ski hat!

The southeastern part of Michigan is getting hammered by old man Winter with
a vengence! The wind is howling like the neighbor's cat did when it got its
tail caught in the intake conveyer belt of the gas powered automatic leaf
mulcher. It spit out a neatly tied bail of leaves, piececes of shrubs and
grass clippings with the head of old "Dip Stick" the feline looking rather
dazed and glassy eyed, dead actually. But quiet at last! I can hear excited
Hams calling in their Snowflake depth reports on the blind dude's 1974 eight
channel Bearcat #3 xtal controlled scanner and it is coming down at a rate
of more than one inch per hour. If we don't find him, maybe Jerry, K0EJF
will take the Sunday HCI 20 meter Net? How about KG4KZG, Dale somebody in
southern Florida? All I know is this dude has been busier than a Everglades
gator when the fan powered tourist pontoon thing hit one of those 90%
submerged Sea Cows who was blissfully grazing on litter tourists had pitched
overboard, did a complete loop de loop in the air and came down with the
"This Side Ain't Supposed To Be Up Stupid!" lettering on the pontoons
clearly visible to the rescue choppers who were soon overhead! Meanwhile the
gator, and friends he had paged courtesy of Sea World, were enjoying an all
you can eat sea food buffet. Yuck! I think Dale's been wrenching on his
Jeep, something about missed a gear, "rev limiter took a dump!", (his words,
not mine!) the clutch exploded, turned the splatter guard into filet of
junk, tied the camshaft into a figure eight type pretzel and put one piston
into low earth orbit! If you can't find Dale by following the blue haze
rolling out of his tailpipe as he breaks the new set of rings in and gets
paid by the county for mosquito control, then try to raise Don, K0TNP,
somewhere near the Alamo. This dude has more vintage receivers,
transmitters, transceivers and other old vacuum tube stuff to populate his
own museum or open a Chuck Dachis branch office! CROAK! Don is way cool, so
ring his diodes dudes and he will run the HCI Net slicker than a Cactus
greased with graphite!

The pre-Net will be at 12:45 PM EST, like 1745 UTC, and the for real Net
kicks off at 1:15 PM EST, 1815 UTC. The frequency is 14.292 MHZ usb+/- for
key clicks, mike splatter and ... Who gives a rodent's rump hair anyhow,
just be there!

Gotta hop! I'm off to search for the blind dude before he becomes an ice
sculpture. I have this vision of his well traveled, it used to be a white
White Cane, sticking out of a snowbank.  With the anti-slip rubber golf grip
that kept sliding down until he got really mad one day and crammed his wad
of Double Trouble Bubble gum inside it with a popsicle stick he sharpened
with his pocket knife. Never slipped again, but he took two layers of skin
off the palm of his hand trying to let go of it! Then there was the time he
snapped the florescent red nylon tip right off the cane when he smacked and
whacked that candy vending machine that ate his last quarter after some
circus fat lady sat on his sack lunch and flattened it out like a burger
that tangled with a yard roller! I sure hope he is alright, as if anything
like happens to the blind wonder, I'll lose a good human friend and ... If
he's gone, like who will I steal spare pond scum filter parts from or swipe
their burger off the gas grill while it is still mooing or borrow a HF
vertical from to use as a launch vehicle to fling myself a hundred feet
through the air so I can splash down in the pond or ... Damn! I might have
to get a job! This is bad, very bad! Sure hope I can find him before he ends
up in one of those wax museums!

Jerry? Dale? Don? Somebody do the Sunday HCI 20 meter Net in case W8DBF
shows up at DQ in one of those blizzard things!

Frogzilla