[Hammarlund] Hammarlund] Sunday HCI Snow Bowl VS Super Bowl

01/25/03 23:10:05

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Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 23:02:29 -0500

All flavors of vintage gear are always welcome -

Here is a fact of no value, but of some amusement. Guess who is an official
'snowflake spotter' for NOAA? Yep, I have to report to them during a Winter
storm, such as is going on as I type this, when the snowfall accumulation
reaches one inch and so forth. Now being totally blind, I have to touch these
frigid flakes to determine how deep they are. So out I go in my military surplus
Antarctic Polar Bear hide lined coat and parka with gloves so big you could use
them for tennis rackets. I plod through the drifts over to the snowflake catcher
instrument, a cheap tin measuring cup I got on sale at Ace hardware, and remove
one glove. By now I have an icicle hanging off the end of my nose from the moist
breath being quick frozen by the howling north wind. Because I can't see where
the heck I am going, I have to leave both ears butt naked so I can hear where I
am going. They are now so cold that I am afraid if I touch them they will
shatter like a cheap drinking glass being dropped on a concrete floor! I remove
one glove and insert the index finger depth determining tool into the el cheapo
tin snow catching instrument. The heat from my finger melts the little suckers
faster than I can count them, so I always have to pad my report by a factor of
sixty percent. Sort of like the federal budget! After a few minutes of trying to
count these snowflakes to get a true depth for NOAA, my finger becomes frigid
and numb like a teenage boy when somebody speaks the terrifying phrase "yard
work". I can no longer count the snowflakes, I can't even feel my finger if I
stick it in my mouth and bite it! So I guesstimate the actual depth,dump the cup
out and waddle back to the house to get warm.

So the snowfall amount report for this area of southeastern lower Michigan being
dutifully assigned to yours truly is totally unscientific, a total guess and
only right ten times out of a hundred. Right? Wrong! I have learned the sighted
snowflake spotters don't even go outside. They sit in their recliner by the
fireplace, sip hot chocolate, look at a movie on the big screen TV and watch the
Weather Channel on a split screen. Then with their laptop they e-mail their
reports in to the regional NOAA office. This data is almost never correct, much
like the prognostications professional weather forecasters who populate the
various TV stations and networks air. It turns out that my method is five times
more reliable and accurate than my compatriots. At least I am out there in the
natural beauty fighting the harsh elements to do my community a great service
while they sit on their toasty warm rumps snoring through the blizzard. Just do
not tell the wizards at NOAA their most accurate data is coming from a blind man
who feels the flakes!

Provided I don't become a human popsicle during the night while I monitor the
frozen flakes tumbling earthward, the Sunday January 26th HCI 20 meter Net will
be held in spite of the Super Bowl. (Sometimes I wonder if it should not have
been named the Toilet Bowl.) So take a break from stuffing your face with
fattening unhealthy snacks during the thirty-six hour pre-game show, and join us
for some healthy, waist reducing vintage Hallicrafters facts, fun and
fellowship. Dragging a vintage rig around burns those fat calories better than
all those pills that make you urinate like a river overflowing its banks and
cause your electrolites to become low from overworking the kidneys. Or was that
the excessive consumption of beer that did that? No matter, boat anchors are
better! Join the pre-Net at 12:45 PM EST, (1745 UTC). Hang with us for the Net
proper at 1:15 PM EST, (1815 UTC). The frequency will be 14.293 Mhz usb +/- for
key clicks, mike splatter and the sound of males belching in five octaves at 115
db! That is about as loud as some serious thunderstorm boomers. Perhaps those
noxious vapors from both ends of the anatomy generated by pickled sardines, corn
chips with garlic+onion+ground chili pepper paste and hard boiled eggs pickled
in Kentucky moonshine mash with some blue cheese stuffing will improve
propagation. It will definitely increase sales of antacids and do it yourself
divorce kits!

So if you can peel yourself away from the steroid stuffed muscle bound males
with way too much testosterone running on fake grass wearing pants too short for
them chasing a dead pig's bladder, come hang out with us. I hope to hear you
there. Just burp out your call sign and get pumped up for some Hallicrafters
history, happiness and who knows what else -

Duane Fischer, W8DBF
NCS: Hallicrafters Collectors International
[email protected]

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