[Hallicrafters] Frogzilla

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

Yo Humans!	
	
Wake up, look life like instead of landfill ready! It is I, Frogzilla. The
muscular lean, don't piddle in my pond lest you see an amphibian become junk
yard dog MEAN and if the U.S. Army gene splitters and DNA splicers who created
me had gotten paid their promised Uncle Sam green, ... Never mind, that is a
tale told another day! Suffice it to say for now my bipedal locomotion friends
with stereoscopic vision and an infatuation with how to make money by marketing
Upper Michigan roadkill, Frogzilla is here and you Contestors don't slam your
cerebral cortex in the doorway as you beat feet for the Sport Utility Worm Ranch
Dude Buggy! Go home, drink whatever floats your liver, eat corn chips with hot
sauce dip, set off neighborhood motion sensors as you give lessons to teenage
boys on how to clear the entire movie theater, plus lobby - bathrooms -
concession stands - arcade area with free barf bags and hurl hankies, with one
disgusting long loud burp, as well as gross out all the teenage chicks who if
truth be told, could blow the single neuron lodged between the two ears of the
male species into infinity with a belch that would make a Tyrannosaurus Rex who
just chugged down fifty gallons of Rain Forrest Root Beer and was poised to
rattle ten thousand timbers smile with pride! Vacuum tubes must be habit
forming, as I am getting as drifty as an improperly warmed up receiver from
hanging around the blind dude! No Contests on Sunday November 5th! So keep your
buns between the sheets, that dirty rolled up sweat sock stuffed between your
teeth, the Silly Putty For Seniors stuffed in your ears, the handcuffs you
bought at a Ham Fest to restrain your Ham buddies who could not keep their hands
off your knobs out of sight behind your back and sleep right through the
afternoon until the GMT/UTC = your lifetime stud Poker earnings, or 0000 Zulu!
CROAK!	
	
It is not that we do not like you or do not want you around or find your
presence to be as repressive as a Boa Constrictor who wants to hug you to death!
It is just that if we hear anyone scream "CQ Contest!" into a D-104 in a raspy
voice that causes the decibel meter to flash "TILT" as it wraps the needle
around the peg at 135 dB, we may go bananas and start doing Fruit Loops through
the little 'o' that gives us GO Power so we can not freeze in the snow and
become Frosted Flakes or have to explain to our landscaping and weed salad
consultant why we have colored Pebbles in our Grape ... It is International
Contester's Day off, so sleep and go for the ARRL certificate for Loudest
Seismic Sound by a human or the plaque for the Lowest Elapsed UTC Time Single
Snore Roof Collapse.	
	
Join us on Sunday November 5th for the Hallicrafters 20 meter Pre-Net at 12:45
PM EST, (1745 UTC) and the Net proper at 1:15 PM EST, (1815 UTC). The frequency
will be 14.293 MHZ usb +/- for key clicks, mike splatter and a simply thrilling
discourse on nationwide proposal A_3.2901 which wants to change the color of
brain tissue gray matter to a more inspirational color to improve the
probability that "Common Sense" will be common as opposed to its current status
of being the most rare form of human intelligence! Now if that doesn't stir your
soul, get a bigger spoon and coat it with good old fat filled Crisco lard! 	
	
So pack a sack lunch, grab a cold High Sea Pirate Aide and put your portable GPS
headset on and get your bacon to the Ham Shack! Let's prove to humanity that you
can be a Ham without being a Pork product! CROAK!	
	
Frogzilla