[Hallicrafters] Fresh From The Frozen North, HCI Sunday Net

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

Please do NOT join the Sunday January 8th HCI 20 meter Net and tell the NCS 
how

wonderfully warm, sunny and simply gorgeous your weather is! I'm having a 
major

bad to the bone week, feel like ripping the liver out of someone, so feel 
free

to volunteer! I do not want to hear any good news, happy voices, tales about

your successful repair projects or anything that is joyful! I can't handle

smiley or happy right now, in fact, if I can find those two little dwarfs 
I'm

going to change their names to Stubby and Stumpy! Get the mental image?


It all began last Monday when I went out to get the mail. I was expecting my

monthly food allowance check from the Brotherhood Of Retired Magi's and had 
to

brave a blizzard being born! Got my White Cane with the glow in the dark

florescent tape on it, which gives me the "right of way" under all traffic

situations, including my own stupidity of crossing a four lane highway 
during a

green light, my surviving heirs can collect on that one! Whatever I impaled

the Halogen powered bright red nylon tip in, was not about to let go, 
flipped me ass over ego through

the frosty air, right into the frozen rock solid arms of a blasted snowman! 
You

do not ever want to be kissed by anyone with a carrot for a nose, especially 
a

frozen one as sharp as the Sheik of Armpit Fat's meat sticking dagger! I 
struggled

to my feet and whaled the flakes right out of him with what was left of my

Aluminum White Cane with the comfortable golf grib handle and bulb horn I 
stole

from a Bozo The Clown show years ago. Naturally some good neighborhood 
Samaritan

called the local law enforcement officers who showed up with enough hardware 
and

manpower to have prevented the famous Chicago St. Valentine's massacre! 
Busted

me for destruction of county property, as being blind, I unknowingly turned 
a

fire hydrant into a spitting fountain!


Just to add insult to injuries, and several fines, plus that more sticky 
than

that well chewed bubble gun you get stuck on your shoes when at the movie

theater ink they fingerprinted me with, there wasn't any mail that day! I 
hate

those Monday holidays! Who came up with the day after New Years holiday? Our

politicians at work wisely spending our tax dollars giving all connected 
with

the new Medicare Part D prescription coverage plans an extra day to get the

devices ready that automatically disconnect your call after you spend eight

minutes answering the same three questions multiple times, pushing buttons,

being put on hold and then ... the dial tone! The idea here is that by the 
time

you get through, you will probably already be dead and not need any

prescriptions filled! Hey! Congress needs a raise!

If the freezing rain stops, my antennas thaw out and the RF can remember up 
from

down, the pre-Net will commence at 12:45 PM EST, (1745 UTC). The Net proper

starts at 1:15 PM EST, (1815 UTC). Somebody kindly remind me of the time,

please. The Braille watch and the snowman's fat belly did not bond well!

Probably the only snowman on the planet with a silver plated expansion band 
for

a belly button that makes a ticking sound and announces the time with a 
Japanese accent every half hour!

Have you ever gotten the impression that the electrical devices in your home 
were unhappy? Maybe because of those energy conservation practices you have 
adopted and those voltage regulating/reduction gadgets now plugged into the 
wall outlets are perhaps starving them a little? Now are they deliberately 
breaking down just to torment you? Why does the TV go radials

up just when the one news item you have suffered through the whole

fifty-four minutes of a pessimistic, depressing and lame newscast for comes 
on? Why when you are so blasted starved and hungry

blasted hunger that your ex-wife's specialty, burned toast and hard boiled

rotten eggs, sounds tempting, does the toaster launch the last two slices of

bread in your house into the air, across the kitchen and right into old 
Rover's

half eaten bowl of "Beefy Cow Udders"? Why does the self-defrosting 
refrigerator freezer always thaw and refreeze the ice cream so that when you 
open the container it is like ice crystals with cardboard flavor? How about 
the important family dinner? The one where you brown the expensive roast, 
put it in the roaster pan, add a little water with special seasonings handed 
down over generations, set the oven to the proper temperature for the 
correct length of time, and leave for church. When you arrive home expecting 
the succulent aroma of the roasting meat to saturate your nostrils with joy, 
you discover to your horror that the roaster is still on the countertop and 
the family pet is in the oven! Which is probably why some clever soul 
invented the self-cleaning oven!


If you can find the frequency, try 14.293 MHZ usb +/- for key clicks, mike 
splatter and what may sound like popcorn being popped by the glow of a hot 
Halli. Well it isn't, just the imported twinkle lights on my Christmas tree 
exploding every time I key up with this linear amplifier accidentally still 
in the RTTY mode! Talk about stink! Worse than a human who ate some of those 
pickled hard boiled eggs, wolfed down a can of sardines, had some of that 
blue cheese bean dip and a couple of homebrew beers. Then released n odor 
that not only cleared the room of guests and caused the paint on the walls 
to peal off, but also killed the plastic plants! Did that expensive 
neutralizing air filtration system guaranteed to instantly sense and remove 
offensive odor, dangerous potential allergens harmful bacteria, microbes and 
dust mites from the air save the day? Heck no! It made a gagging noise and 
blew a fuse!


Am I in a bad mood? No. Worse! Remember that tale about the old Troll who 
lived under the bridge? You can stop worrying. I branded his rump with the 
paw print of a Guide Dog for the blind and at last report the Troll was 
milking goats for a Tibetan Monk! So drift onto the frequency and say 
'Hey!', we accept all flavors and brands, just so they glow in the dark! If 
not, lie a little and we will grin and never tell, as doing so would not be 
rice. I mean nice. Hear you later!


Duane Fischer, W8DBF

NCS: Hallicrafters Collectors International

netcontrol at w9wze.org

HCI: http://www.w9wze.org