[Hallicrafters] Propagation Or Buss, Join Sunday HCI Net!

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

Please take a few minutes and join us on Sunday April 25th for the HCI,
(Hallicrafters Collectors International), 20 meter Net. Due to the less than
mentionable propagation the past two weeks, the drawing for the mystery prize
will be held over for two more weeks. The check in count last Sunday was the
lowest, ever! The propagation was not bad, there wasn't any! 	
	
The pre-Net segment will commence at 12:45 PM EDT, (1645 UTC). However, yours
truly, will be on the air about 12:15 PM EDT, (1615 UTC) reading the Braille
propagation forecasts and checking the official NCS chair for any stray lily
pads or things that go 'croak' in the night! The Net proper will begin at 1:15
PM EDT, (1715 UTC). The frequency will be 14.293 MHz usb +/- for key clicks,
mike splatter and encrypted messages in a little known offshoot of Morse Code
known as BirdDit. "Say what?" I have a new neighbor, a red headed Woodpecker who
is determined to peck a redwood split rail fence on the property line into its
formative atoms.  	
	
At first I thought the bird was just confused after flying in from the sunny
south. When the two guys from the Michigan DNR, Department of Natural Resources,
showed up two days ago with butterfly nets, tranquilizer mist grenades, GPs
tracking units and camouflage outfits, I decided this might not be the ordinary
bug chewing variety of red headed Woodpecker beating its beak on the split rail
fence.    		
	
My almost a teenager, going on thirty, grandson Brandon happened to be hanging
out with old Grandpa, so I put him on security duty. A two meter handheld,
modified CO2 powered pellet gun that fires tranquilizer darts for obnoxious
neighbors or bill collectors, can of regular Coke (if it's sugar and caffeine
free, it ain't cool!) and high resolution telescopic video camera with built-in
transmitter to send audio/video signals back to the wireless digital recording
unit in the Ham shack. Plus a crisp twenty dollar bill. I think the word is
'incentive'? Yea, I know. I tried a crisp ten dollar bill first, but got told
that unless I really wanted to lurk under that older than his Grandpa apple tree
with more spider webs hanging down than a horror movie and huge ugly brown
spiders with a hour glass shape on their backs and fangs like my ex-wife's
incisors, to lay a little more green on him. The thought of those nasty probably
poisonous spiders did not bother me, but the image of those incisors was
sufficient motivation to reach for my wallet! 	
	
The red headed Woodpecker was methodically demolishing the fence one post at a
time. The two DNR guys were trying to sneak up on the unsuspecting bird with
nets at the ready. Brandon had a good view and I was listening to the incoming
audio. "Remember now Lucius, this is not an ordinary Woodpecker. This one did
not fly south for the Winter, he holed up at the Red Roof Inn in Holly and dined
on juicy bugs that crawled out of the garden salads! The boss thinks he is one
of those genetically engineered birds that picked the locks on their cages at
the Michigan State Avery and disappeared. So be careful! Remember what happened
to agent Pignose. That one got under his camouflage jacket and used its pointed
beak to tattoo a butt naked likeness of the traveling carnival fat lady on his
stomach! Wife and kids packed up and hit the road the next day."    	
	
They were right, this was not the ordinary pecker of wood! He heard them coming
and kept pecking away as he watched them out of the corner of one bloodshot red
eye. The staccato rhythm of his pecking suddenly changed. The seldom heard
BirdDit code was now being sent by wireless beak.  	
	
The DNR guys were poised with nets raised to snatch the red headed Woodpecker
off the fence post before he knew what snared him. Or so they thought! Suddenly
the air was filled with the sound of flapping wings. Birds of all kinds were
coming from every direction and headed straight at the bird nappers. Before they
could grab a tranquilizer mist grenade and pull the pin, they were covered by a
kaleidoscope of colored feathers as the birds used them as practice pecking
targets! One made a run for it, but ran headlong into a very sturdy Maple tree
with a waist bigger than his. Laid him out colder than an ice cream cart freshly
loaded with blocks of dry ice! The other guy made it to the DNR van and
scrambled inside and slammed the door. Then discovered he had company!
Woodpeckers! Dozens of them! He let out a scream like a teenage girl that just
discovered a major zit on the end of her nose the morning of Prom night! Tried
to open the door to get out of the path of the dive bombing Woodpeckers, bumped
the gear shift of the idling van out of 'park' into reverse, panicked, hit the
gas instead of the brake, shot across the street, through a neighbor's front
yard, tore out his shrubbery, plowed through the expensive flower garden, broke
the marble and ceramic bird bath into hundreds of pieces and slowly sank in his
Olympic size swimming pool!       	
	
Brandon insists that the red headed Woodpecker smiled. I had to give him an
extra ten bucks before he would promise not to tell anyone that his Grandpa had
a video tape of a smiling Woodpecker that did not come from the Cartoon Network!
The hundreds of birds left as quickly as they had arrived. Police cars, EMS
units, the State Police SWAT team, Sheriff's department officers with tracking
dogs, several fire trucks, four Humvey's loaded with combat ready National Guard
troops and some bomb disposal experts showed up. Then the Civil Air Patrol
zoomed over head with specially equipped GPS guided Cesna's making slow low
passes with cameras rolling and automatic rifles with infrared scopes poking out
the open windows. I had to pay Brandon another twenty to get him to come back
inside the house! He was busy filming it all for submission to the local
ABC/Disney TV station which was giving away an all expense paid week long family
trip to Disney World for the most original video taken by a junior high school
student during Spring Break. Why do I think I just wasted twenty bucks?     	
	
The red headed Woodpecker just kept pecking away at the fence oblivious to the
invasion force descending on my yard. They loaded the one guy who was still
seeing stars while earthbound on a stretcher and hauled him off in a van. Some
others restrained the one who was screaming at the top of his lungs about Alfred
Hitchcock's movie about the "Birds" having just come true. Then everyone
suddenly stopped, turned to look at the little red headed Woodpecker whittling
that Redwood fence down to toothpicks and smiled. Then more of the BirdDit code.
One of the officers ran up to the guy who was in charge and showed him a
notepad. He got a funny look on his face, turned a little pale like an over
bleached sheet, said something into his handhold radio and everybody quickly got
back into their vehicles and sped off.  		
	
Brandon asked me if I knew what the BirdDit code said? I told him I had no idea.
"Well I do.", he proudly announced. "I picked up the pad that one guy dropped as
he ran to the cop car. It says, 'Any human that thinks he is smarter than a
bird, is a bird brain and is in a peck of trouble. Catch my beak?'"	
	
Hear you tomorrow!	
	
Duane Fischer, W8DBF	
NCS: Hallicrafters Collectors International	
netcontrol at w9wze.org