[Hallicrafters] Frogzilla In Tree With G5RV

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

Yo you carnivorous cholesterol sucking Homo Sapiens! It is his Frogship, the one
and the only, Frogzilla, and have I got a deal for your pale as an albino
Rhino's rump! So suck in that fat gut, tighten up that flabby butt and stop
trying to look like the twin of the Pillsbury Doughboy! I am back from Florida
with a tan, a new attitude and I am in great shape for Spring. I am ready to
give you lessons on How To Stuff A Wild Bikini, firm up those lard laden limbs
and kick the belly button lint of the third cousin to a Donkey that felled the
blind dude's forty and eighty meter antennas! Give me his name and I will brand
his zip code across his buttocks with an RF burn equal to none!  	
	
The blind wizard is pouting because all he has for an antenna, and I use that
term loosely, for the Saturday HCI 40 meter Net is the GAP Titan, AKA the crap
Titan. )His terminology for it, you can not print mine!) Can not say as I blame
him, as about all it receives reliably are birds taking a bathroom break! Croak!
At least the stuff vanishes in the snow, when the grass is green it has all
sorts of ugly white blotches that make it look like it had a zillion infected
zits! Croak! He can't run any serious power through it because the SWR rises
like the price of gasoline on a holiday weekend! The last time he put some fire
to the wire, the bargain basement coax he was using started to smoke like a
forgotten pork chop on a gas grill! Smelled like Uncle Lester's pipe when he
burned that recycled compost tobacco made from rotten hay, dung beetles and cow
pies! Croak! The odor could unclog a constipated sewer! Made a garbage truck
smell like a French perfume cart!        	
	
If the smoke was not enough to make a Vulture hurl his lunch, then there was the
little issue of the coax insulation melting like wax running down a cheap table
candle. Then sparks started to fly like golden Twinkees during a food fight at
the day old bakery and the dry as a popcorn puffer brown grass lit up like dry
dead trees in the annual Northern Michigan Bake A Bear Brown contest! Croak!
Remember, forest fires help to prevent Bears! They call them crispy critters!
Croak! The birds using the antenna for a rest stop got this funny look in their
eyes as their feathers started to emit smoke, their feet jerked spasmodically as
they lost their grip on the antenna elements and swung 180 degrees to be hanging
upside down and then exploded like a ripe watermelon that fell off the Farmer
Jack's delivery truck when it hit a speed bump in the parking lot!   	
	
Join me tomorrow at 12:45 PM EST, (1745 UTC), for the pre-Net. Hang around for
the real deal at 1:00 PM EST, (1800 UTC). The frequency is as usual, 7.280 MHZ
lsb +/- for key clicks, mike splatter and the sound of dead blackbirds flopping
onto the frozen snowdrifts with all the vigor of cold mashed potatoes falling
off your plate onto the hardwood floor. What is the difference between a
megacycle and a megahertz anyhow? Is one like a really big bicycle and the other
a major pain? Croak!   	
	
If any of you immoral male mortals desire a copy of my Fort Lauderdale and
Daytona Beach videos shot in the females changing areas, don't send me a SASE! I
am not giving these things away! I may be an amphibian, but I am not dumb enough
to play fish bait for you! Send me fifty bucks in crisp unwrinkled ten dollar
bills, a plain brown envelope if you don't want your XYL to intercept it and
kill you with home cooking and be sure to include $5 for packing and postage. If
your cheap VCR melts down, don't blame me, blame the dollar store where you
bought it! Croak! 	
	
I hope to croak at some of you tomorrow, that is Saturday March 8th, for the
calendar impaired among you. Most humans can not tell what day it is, what year
or what time if the Lithium battery in their digital watch croaks! The only way
they can even begin to read a calendar is by thinking of those little boxes as
being a Bingo card! Croak!  	
	
Frogzilla	
Temporary NCS: Hallicrafters Collectors International  	
frogzilla at my_big_pond.usa