[GreenKeys] The Amazing Lamp (True Story) and other things

[George B. Hutchison]

Overheard at the large auction shed at The Gigantic San Jose (Calif) 
Flea Market, perhaps thirty years ago...

The auctioneer to the enthusiastic audience...

"Ladeees and gentlemen...  Our next item is an amazing wonder of the 
age, its a new, glass, oil burning lamp.

Now this sort of lamp has been used for hundreds of years to light 
homes all around the world. Hurricanes, dead of night, storms, 
floods; it has weathered them all.

But today, we have the latest, newly improved, and indeed sensational 
model of a solid, trusted, traditional oil lamp.

This new model will, of course, run on KEROSENE, but, if you cannot 
find kerosene anywhere, it will also run on COAL OIL!!! Just think - 
Two different oils can be used in the SAME LAMP!!! Ain't that 
AMAZING?????"

(Several OOOHs and AHHHHS from the crowd......)

"NOW WHAT AM I BID??????"

The price ran quickly up to around 22 dollars, and the guy sold at 
least two cases of 'em.

This little story was brought to mind by the assorted super formulas, 
magic goos, incredible secrets of the lost wizards, and other 
cleaning facts posted on GreenKeys.

The truth as I see it.

Carbon tetrachloride, ethylene dichloride, trichloroethylene, acetone 
and virtually all of the complex hydrocarbon solvents are not good 
for you, so use caution, gloves, safety glasses, lots of ventilation, 
and a lot of common sense when using them.

The water soluble solvents such as Amway Industrial Cleaner and my 
favorite, Kafco's OIL EATER, will also do a number on you. They will 
turn your skin to soap if you are not careful.

Remember, YOU are made of fat, grease, and water, just as are 
teletype lubricants, even Slick 50 Super Teletype Snake Oil Potion 
and Wellness Elixer probably has some manner of hydrocarbon origin.

Anything that will attack the known lubricants,  WILL ATTACK YOU!!!.

Again, use gloves. Have a lot of clean, dry shop rags handy. Work in 
an area that should some spill on the floor it will not render the 
possibility of a fire, explosion, or a wife so angry you'll never use 
your male appliance again.

Use compressed air judiciously. Springs blown all over your shop can 
make you angry. Grease on the wall or the carpet might cause your 
spouse to think negatively of you.

Dry your freshly cleaned apparatus as quickly as possible, then get 
some manner of lubrication back on it.

Beware of the effect of solvent baths on ball bearings. Soaking your 
machine in SUPER GUNK 5000 or some such stuff will most likely clean 
out all lubrication everywhere INCLUDING THE BALL BEARINGS. 
Re-packing them might be necessary!!

Oilite bearings such as is found on platen shaft bearings on the 15 
and 28, and the floating clutch drum on the upper shaft in a 28 
reperf will be affected. And don't forget to take into consideration 
the hidden roller bearings such as in the same upper shaft assembly 
in the 28 reperf - there are two sets of roller bearings inside the 
mechanism upper shaft drive cam sleeve that I would be willing to bet 
that most are unaware of. Replacing those bearings and/or the shaft 
is a patience-exhausting experience.

Felts....

The early machines such as the 14s, 15s, 26s used a lot of felt 
clutches, so think about those.

There were lubrication felts used in most of the machines. Think 
about those.

Platens...

Not that easy to come by, and all too often those shops that used to 
get platens recovered for you are no longer offering that service, so 
be kind to your platens.

An item I wish to mention in conclusion...

My last dissertation on the Model 15 experiences I related to you got 
me a couple of responses that were a sort of "Pooh-Pooh, you don't 
know yer ass from Arbuckle's Coffee" type of response. Those 
Pooh-Poohers obviously must know something and have better knowledge 
than humble 'ol me, so I decided to just plain stop posting, and let 
the unwashed suffer for themselves.

All I CAN say, and relate to you, are the experiences and things I 
learned while in the trenches. I think that even the Pooh-Poohers 
have a lot of useful knowledge that we can use. I hope that they will 
consider sharing their knowledge and experiences as I have, but do it 
in a constructive, helpful manner as opposed to wording that makes 
another person feel put down or inferring some level of inferiority.

I am 65 years old, and got my first Model 26 when I was 15. I ain't 
fresh off the turnip truck, and would hope that many of you can glean 
something from my experience, as well as the combined probably 1000 
years of teletype and technological experience that exists amongst 
the folks found on the GreenKeys reflector. We're all an INCREDIBLE 
resource!!

'Nuff said!

W7TTY