[FLARES] THE TALKING DOG

[Bill Britton]

While driving around the back woods of East Texas, on one back roads I 
saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog 
for Sale."

 
Well I needed a break so I stopped to see what the deal was. I went into 
the backyard and see a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" I ask. "Yep," the Lab replies. Well after I got over the 
shock of hearing a dog talk, I asked "So, what's your story?" "
 
Ah shucks there ain't much to tell. Is that a VUU screwdriver antenna on 
your truck out there?"
 
"How did you know that," I ask?
 
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I'm a ham radio operator. I got my 
Ticket when I was a young pup and in no time at all I had my 5 band DXCC 
in Phone and CW. The CIA heard about me and asked me to do some spy work 
for them. I would hang around the communications centers and with my 
keen hearing I could copy the transmissions. Because no one figured a 
dog would be eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for 
eight years." Copying high speed CW all day really tired me out and I 
knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I
decided to settle down. I retired from the CIA (8 dog years is 56 CIA 
years) and joined a ham radio club. In fact I won first place in the 
Oklahoma OSO Party two years in a row. Then I had a mess of puppies and 
got away from Ham Radio for a while. I sure miss my radio. Why don't you 
buy me and I'll be your CW operator in the Texas QSO Party.
 
I said "let me see what I can do."
I went back in and asked the owner what he wants for the dog.
 
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
 
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you
selling him so cheap?"
 
"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff.  He's just a No 
Code Technician."